Tuesday, June 15, 2010

What's the Perfect Age to Get Married?

posted by Michele Olson

Dennie Hughes writing in USA Weekend , in a relation tips column was asked; When’s the right time to wed? The question was posed because the person writing in was finding herself going to wedding after wedding of friends who were also just out of college.

Her answer goes against the early 20’s, but she also does say that getting married in your 30’s is also not an instant golden ticket to marital bliss.


Yes! Why you are getting married also matters.

* Are you trying to blend in because it feels like “everyone” is getting married?
* Are you worried about when you have children and how old you will be when they are grown?
* Are you looking for something stable in our current world which is filled with chaos?

Dennie quoted Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great. Statistically we know that the more years of higher education a woman has before she marries, the lower her chances of getting divorced. If you do the math…it takes to around 25 to have a degree or two. As Terri says; “Educated women tend to be more confident about who they are and less willing to settle for a man who doesn’t meet their standards,”
You may also be more financially secure as a couple….and since people do fight about money, that can be one less area of friction. By your mid twenties you are more likely to know more about your life goals and who you are.

Back to the advice from the USA article:

Have fun at weddings but don’t let them push you into questioning why you are single.
The more dating experiences you have, the more you may understand the type of person that may be right for you.

All good advice, but none of the many articles I read gave this stellar piece of wisdom:
Use the tools that are out there to find out more about someone you are getting serious about.
At thinkmarriage.org we have a check up for seriously dating couples…when you really like the person, but want to know if you are ready for a bigger commitment.

The bottom line; get married because you feel it’s right for you, not because everyone else seems to be getting married. “Everyone else” will not be in your home as a couple!
There is no pat answer for the right time, but it is worth considering the statistics out there. Effort in the marriage will be much more of a way to ensure a satisfying relationship than just age alone.
What do you think? Do you think there’s a perfect time to get married? Leave a blog comment!


Kaitlyn said...

I dont necessarily believe that there is a perfect age. My fiance and I are sometimes criticized for our decision to marry young (21). We are both finished with schooling for now though (tech school) and we feel that we are at the point in our life where we feel comfortable making this commitment, having been together for the last four years. I say that it all depends on where you are in your life and what you feel ready for.

Virginia said...

The first time I got married I was similair to the one in the article. Everyone around me was getting married.I was 25 and lonely. I am very tall and skinny so the guys weren't exactly lining up to go out with me much less make a commitment.
I endured a lot of heartache from that poor decision.Now I am married to my best friend after Jesus and know that their is so much more than physical attraction
and convenience to a successful relationship.

thinkmarriage.org said...

Thanks for the comment Kaitlyn...My husband and I were criticized as well and going on 33 years later...we dont' regret our decision! The perfect age is probably different for everyone, but if everyone will committ to marriage education along the way, they will have a much beter chance of making it through the long run.
Keep blogging!

thinkmarriage.org said...

You're right Virginia...your age is probably not as important as your motivation for getting married. Thanks for sharing your story and I'm so glad you are in a great relationship now. Keep blogging!

Keeks said...

my husband and I were pretty young as well... I just turned 20 and he was 24. The why is the most important My husband and I are deeply in love and wouldnt chnage how we did things even for a moment. We met and 4 months later got married...its been 7 years since then. We made the decision to always "be" for each other, meaning to be whatever the other needs in that moment. Its worked so far. Its not always easy or fun, but it is good strong solid love. Too many people are just unwilling to fight for their love. They turn and run at the first sign of opposition. Love is not an accident its a choice, u have to be willing to go the distance when it sucks not just when its great.

thinkmarriage.org said...

Thanks for your thoughts. You are so right...fighting for your marriage through the hard times is so important. For better or worse can really mean something! Keep blogging!