Monday, August 18, 2008

“40 Days and Counting” or “Wedding Planning Causes Multiple Personalities”

Fourth blog (scroll down or look in blog archives to read Sarah's past blogs) Welcome to a guest blogger, Sarah Nass, Brown County Director here at thinkmarriage and someone who is newly engaged! We thought you would really enjoy following Sarah’s journey from how she and Tim met and all the adventures along the way to their wedding. As a trained healthy relationship facilitator, Sarah is getting first- hand knowledge on putting her education, into practical action. Tune in to this blog often to keep up to date with Sarah and Tim’s story!
Sarah writes:

Last you all knew, Tim and I had been dating for a couple months, figured out what to do about rising fuel prices, and both had a hunch that we were getting ourselves in to a relationship of long-term value and significance. The moment when he slipped and used the word “girlfriend” in a conversation he had with a co-worker, the countless motorcycle rides…it was on one of the first bike trips we took that I knew, I just knew. And I heard a song playing in my head, unsolicited, and saw us in my mind’s eye, dancing at our reception. You can bet that totally freaked me out.
The first time he told me he loved me, and I echoed the sentiment, the first holiday we spent with each other’s families, our Christmas trip to Chicago during which Tim was very ill and still tried ice-skating for the first time! The bookshelf he built me, the BB King concert tickets he surprised me with for Valentine’s Day…

It is all of these things and many more that keep me planning, keep me moving ahead. People have been asking me, ever since we got engaged May 18th, “Are you SO excited for your wedding? How is the PLANNING going? Are you just so EXCITED?!” I usually pull out a smile and end up saying something like, “The planning is going well (for a while there it was pretty scary) and I am too busy (tired, stressed, fill in the blank) to be excited for the wedding yet. But, I AM excited to be married to Tim.” They usually look at me like “Why isn’t this bride absolutely ecstatic? What is wrong with her?” I have learned from these countless repeated exchanges that sometimes it’s best just to say “Why of COURSE I’m excited, I am THRILLED, and the wedding planning is going GREAT!!!” and let them go away, satisfied with my answer.
Since we are funding the wedding predominantly ourselves (with some assistance…thanks to those people!) we have been trying to do much of the preparation and planning ourselves, as well as attempting to be economically brilliant and go the DIY route. Not a bad plan, just a lot more time and energy and effort required. Though I won’t go into any specifics on this one, let’s just say that even keeping it simple, wedding planning can make anyone go NUTS. Tim and I have had to work through more things, miscommunication, hurt feelings, time management, financial business, whatever, as we plan this shindig. And lemme tell ya- it has NOT been pretty sometimes. On the flip side, I am SO thankful for the chance to practice talking through things, forgiveness, problem solving, and learning more about what makes each other tick. What hot buttons NOT to push. (WWIII, anyone?)

At this point, I am getting glimmers of excitement for the actual day as more and more items are being crossed off my to-do list. One things remains, and continues to increase with each day, I am more and more excited about spending my life with this kind and persistent man, and thankful that he feels the same way. Together, we can survive the wedding!
What will happen next as Sarah prepares for the big day?
Do you have any advice for her as the countdown continues?
Tune in for Sarah's next blog coming here soon!

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