Monday, November 16, 2009

Advice For Those Thinking of or About to Walk Down the Aisle

Posted by Michele Olson

Ken Potts, a Chicago Daily Herald columnist has a unique perspective….he’s a minister, a marriage therapist, a husband and a writer. So, he sees a lot of what’s happening in marriage and he’s able to express it well.
From the starry eyed couples who want to get married to those coming through his door when the “happily ever after” didn’t quite meet up to the expectations Ken sees the before and after of the journey.

His Sunday column focuses on some marriage myths that engaged couples tend to bring to the altar. The problem with myths is: they aren’t based on truth. We walk around making important decisions based on false assumptions. As I’ve said before in this blog; that’s not something we want for anyone. Pain and disillusionment are usually the result.

Ken covers:
1. "The hard part is over." Getting to the point of marriage was the hard part and now it’s time to coast. An attitude that sets people up for problems.

2. "I really know the person I married." We really get to know someone after we are married in a way we can’t before we are married. Changing age and circumstances also changes us.

3. "We both know what it means to be married." Have you ever really had your job description totally match the job itself? Marriage is the same way….the job description doesn’t always match up to the reality.

4. "We'll live happily ever after." Then there’s that little problem of conflict. It’s how we deal with those conflicts that make the difference.

5. "We'll always be this much in love." Learning the difference between romance and love. And there is a difference!

Ken expounds on these points and gives some good food for thought for every seriously dating, engaged and newly married couple to ponder.

Speaking of good food for thought…have you seen the “check-up” opportunities on our home web page?

Check it out…Check ups for dating, engaged and married. A great opportunity to work on your healthy relationship.

Read Ken’s column and comment here…what do you think of his myths and would you like to add a few?

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