Complex Jealousy…That’s Nasty!

posted by Michele Olson

In yesterday’s blog we learned from Steven Stosny’s article in Psychologytoday.com that there are two types of jealousy: simple and complex.

Simple: doable.
Complex: trouble!

Here’s an overview of the article on disarming complex jealousy:

1) Obsessions distort reality. If you can’t stop thinking about your partner flirting, then distrust the feelings, not necessarily your partner. (Don’t trust your heart and feelings because they have gone awry!)

2) If you are experiencing complex jealousy, you are feeling unloved and inadequate. That’s called “core hurts” and basically it’s stinking thinking. By simply asking yourself:
“What can I do to feel more lovable and adequate?” you will help yourself understand that destructive behavior with your loved one will not achieve a healthy end.

3) Focus on compassion not trust. Steven is saying if you are dwelling in complex jealousy, you don’t have the confidence to trust right now, so refocus to compassion.

4) Move over into the healthy arena of simple jealousy. Self correct by being more compassionate, supportive, cooperative and loving.

If this sparks something in you, check out the whole article for the great advice it holds. Making sure you are not feeding complex jealousy in your relationship can be a key to a more rewarding life for you and your loved one.

Thoughts? Has the green-eyed monster been a problem in your home? Let us hear your story.