Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Men Afraid of a Bad Marriage

posted by Michele Olson

A recent Yahoo article talked about Bachelor Carl Weisman, a 49 year old who conducted a survey of 1,533 heterosexual men. He was doing research for a book geared to give women insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single -- and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties.

He concluded that most men were not afraid of marriage -- but they were afraid of a bad marriage.

"Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all," Weisman told Reuters in a telephone interview.

Wisconsin Radio Network asked me to comment on the story. You can read and hear my comments by clicking here.

What is your take?

Do you think Carl is off base…or do you agree with his point of view?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well I don't think it's just men who are afraid of a bad marriage. There are women who share that fear. Many people have grown up in homes that were war zones, or had parents who went through a bitter divorce. It's natural to be scared of making the same mistake.

Some people pick the wrong boyfriend or girlfriend over and over again, so they're afraid too.

There comes a point where one has to take a good look at what they need in a partner. Your classes are a great way to do that. Once you're clear on what you need in a partner and a marriage, it helps remove the fear. The unknown is always scary. A little reflection and education can go a long way.

Keep up the good work!

Boomergirl

The Foundation for a Great Marriage said...

Good point Boomergirl...
Just who wants to sign up for a bad marriage? Thanks for the encouragement and helping spread the message...you just can't lose when you take a healthy relationship class!

Anonymous said...

I was raised in a home with parents who had a mostly good marriage. I have been afraid to commit to marriage because I have seen nearly all of my siblings marry and divorce. Divorce is a bitter process and I subconsciously always avoided the circumstance of divorce by avoiding marriage.

The Foundation for a Great Marriage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Foundation for a Great Marriage said...

HI Anon,
You are exactly the person that marriage education is "made for"...
we want to get out the message that you don't have to just "hope" it all works out. You can do real and tangible things to give yourself the best possibility of having a good marriage. Before marriage take a class like "How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk(ette)" or read the book...this will help you with skills on picking a partner. Then when you're serious about someone, there are more education choices and pre-marital inventories before you say the "I do". Once you are married, there are many workshops and classes to help keep your marriage thriving. Marriage has been around for a long time, because it can be one of the best decisions of your life. But it doesn't have to be a gamble....I bet your siblings didn't invest time in marriage education before and during their marriage. You can be the person who really does the right things to make sure you have a wonderful marriage. I hope that helps you know that a good future is possible and in your hands!
Visit thinkmarriage.org for class listings in Wisconsin and for listings of healthy relationship initiatives in other states.