Monday, January 05, 2009

A thinkmarriage workshop attendees letter

posted by Michele Olson

Did you ever want to hear from someone who attended a workshop?

I hope this prompts you to make plans to take a healthy relationship/marriage education workshop this year!

Letter to us from Z:

I have been engaged for a little over 2 months to a man who is truly the love of my life, and who has blessed me by feeling the same way about me. Our relationship is not without complication or pain, but everything we do, we do deeply and with vigor. We have been together for over four years, and nothing could have ever prepared me for the ever-present beauty that has come with our journey. There are elements of fear on my part; compliments of our already once-divorced statuses and our decision two years ago to buy a house together. I realize that statistics show the odds are against us - more so even than the national divorce rate for first marriages and non-cohabitators. But I know that we have what it takes.

Several weeks ago we signed up for the P.I.C.K. a Partner class through - this occurred shortly after we became engaged. My how dynamics have changed - this engagement has introduced an ever-present "elephant" in the room, and taking this class has given us the insight and resources we need to face and conquer that elephant, always taking it one day at a time.

Things I know now that I didn't know "then" (and I thank God every day for):

1 - We are working harder than we ever thought necessary. Human beings are not simple creatures and unearthing the mysteries of our personal depths is exhausting, but so rewarding.
2 - There is no black and white solution to any disagreement. Focusing on and embracing the gray area is its own reward. Learning to do that takes maturity and an open mind.
3 - A successful relationship (and eventually a happy marriage) doesn't mean no conflict. Coming to realize that and making the best of it will only make us stronger.
4 - I can only change myself. Period. And in knowing this, I am acutely aware of what I'm really made of. Sometimes it makes me grimace (when realizing things about myself that aren't so nice or attractive), but mostly it makes me deliriously happy on the inside.
5 - And finally, my favorite quote:

"The way I see it isn't necessarily the way you see it...Or the way it is or ought to be. What's more important is that we're both looking for it and a way to see it."
- Desi DeNardo
I think is a fantastic starting point for all couples that have a desire to build a stronger, happier, and more intimately passionate relationship with their partner. Realizing that you have to do all the work yourself took some getting used to, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks Z for your comments...We would love more feedback from workshop and class attendees!

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