Thursday, May 21, 2009

Beyond Great Aunt Fern

posted by Michele Olson

It's so easy to fall in love
It's so easy to fall in love
It's so easy to fall in love
It's so easy to fall in love
Oh-ooh It's so easy to fall in love
- Linda Rondstadt

Are you tapping your feet and humming this tune? It is pretty easy to fall in love…and then as the old rhyme goes; first comes love, then comes marriage. But what comes in-between?

The best idea is to ask the right questions as a couple. The kind of questions that get you behind the starry eyed thought that this person will never totally irritate you and will meet your every expectation.

Here’s a pinch so you’ll wake up.

This “questioning” process has lots of names like marriage preparation, a pre-marital inventory, pre-marriage counseling. For many people they look forward to it about as much as a trip to the dentist. Some couples only participate because their church or synagogue won’t marry them unless they have taken part in a program. There’s also the fact that most couples can’t stand the idea of Great Aunt Fern’s wrath if they don’t get married in a church.

But that’s the wrong attitude. Asking questions before you get married using a proven program and trained facilitator or coach can save you a whole lot of heartache in the days to come no matter where you are choosing to marry.

Exploring issues like how you will spend or not spend money, extended family involvement, how you will resolve differences and whether or not to have kids all need to be talked about ahead of time. Seems like a no-brainer, but many couples do not delve into these types of questions as much as they need to.

Proven programs help couples to approach these questions in a healthy, non threatening way. A trained facilitator and coach can key in on the areas that you as a couple really need to focus on.

So don’t let whether you church, synagogue or Great Aunt Fern requires a marriage prep program be the basis for your decision. Do it for your future satisfaction in your marriage.

At we offer a great program for couples called Prepare-Enrich that involves an assessment test and the opportunity to work with a coach on line if that works for you or in person if you are in the right vicinity.

We also offer some great on the ground opportunities for workshops with other couples through a program called Getting Real Relationships for seriously dating or engaged couples.

Email with your questions about marriage prep.

Great Aunt Fern thinks that’s a very good idea.

What about you?

If you’re married, what was your marriage prep like…and are you glad you did it?

If you are not married and seriously dating or engaged, are you planning on some kind of marriage prep?

Why or why not?

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