Greta Garbo, regarded as one of the greatest and most inscrutable movie stars ever produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer and the Hollywood studio system, is often imitated as saying “I want to be alone.” But as Greta herself has said; “I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be left alone.' There is all the difference.”
You start out wanting to be together all the time. But somewhere in your relationship you may find yourself wanting some time to yourself. Maybe it's your spouse who is feeling that way.
What about having separate interests? How much is too much?
How do you maintain your individuality while still being part of “we?”
What if you and your spouse don’t agree on how much alone time is right for the two of you?
Sheri and Bob Stritof on about.com have some great tips which include the initial conversation about needing some time alone. The tips include:
*Don’t wait until you are feeling suffocated or trapped in your marriage to ask for space.
*Accept that wanting or needing space in your marriage is okay. It doesn’t mean that your marriage is in trouble.
*Let your spouse know that needing this time doesn’t diminish your love or desire for them.
*If your spouse is asking for some space, don’t take it personally.
*Don’t measure or judge your marriage by the way other couples live. Do what is best for the both you.
The article has tips on how to give one another space which could be physical, emotional or financial.
Once again…asking for what you need and getting what you want in a healthy way comes down to great communication skills. Incorporate a healthy relationship workshop or seminar into your plans for the rest of the year. That’s one thing you can do together…and it may be just want you need to easily approach your need for more “left alone” time.
What about your relationship? Was getting enough “left alone” time a struggle? How do you hit the right balance in your marriage?
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