Monday, May 11, 2009

Are You Experiencing Textual Compatibility?

Posted by Michele Olson
I am having a light bulb moment. While writing this blog that you are so graciously reading right now, I started thinking about my own relationship with my husband of 30 plus years. But before I go there, let me tell you about the subject that sparked this epiphany.

In a recent Washington Post article entitled Getting Their (Wireless) Lines Crossed, the subject is brought up of “textual compatibility.” For example, if you are texting someone and not getting an answer because meanwhile, they have direct messaged you on Twitter with the reply…it’s like speaking two different languages to each other. (Some of you aren’t even sure what I’m talking about right now.)
In the past, two people may have been soul mates because they didn’t have choices on how to communicate. Now they can’t agree on what type of communication they are comfortable with and it can cause problems in the relationship. The article points out that this happens mostly to people in their 30’s as the 40 plus crowd usually reaches for the phone. Being in the 50 plus crowd, I’m not so sure I agree with that assessment…but I do know that my closest friendships that “get maintained” are with people who do a lot of emailing or Facebook with me. If they are phone people, our relationship will not progress, because I’m simply not willing to do a lot of talking on the phone.

The article talks about an essential truth; we all want partners who understand us. It’s not just what we say, but how we say it that matters. When it comes to digital communications, we have so many choices! Read the article…you’ll enjoy the premise it brings up.

Now back to my personal reflection. My husband loves gadgets and computer type things. In the mid 80’s he bought me a computer and I didn’t touch it for six months or more. It scared me to death. Then through a series of job events, I started to understand computers and more of what they can do…especially when you are writer. As time has passed, I have grown in my ability to keep up with what’s happening digitally. Although part of me still believes all this is mostly smoke, mirrors, magic and little hamsters inside the computer, I do embrace all the new avenues of communication like Facebook, Twitter and Texting. My husband and I used to have very little in common in the “geek” world; we now communicate in ways that suits both of our very different personalities. We follow some of the same people on Twitter and enjoy finding out what the other knows. We text, we Facebook and I’ve seen a whole new side to my husband that I wouldn’t have if we just talked…not one of his favorite forms of communication. That’s my light bulb moment…we are Textually Compatible! We even got matching I Phones for our 30th anniversary! Want to get closer to your spouse? Think about becoming communicatively compatible. I have to go…I have to Twitter about this.

Tell us more about your relationship and your textual compatibility!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing you personal experience with communication. I shows we are always learning even after 30 years. I also thought the 'article' was quite interesting and kindof a good headsup.

thinkmarriage.org said...

Hello!
Light bulb moments...gotta love em!
My husband and I really have a lot of fun with digital formats in creatively expressing fondness and love in a new way. I thought the article was very interesting too...thanks for blogging and hope to hear from you again!
michele@thinkmarriage.org