Back to the days when everything was possible because you had age and time on your side. Heady, glorious days. I wish those same feelings for all those couples who will be saying “I do” in the next few months, a time of the year when many weddings take place.
Sheba R. Wheeler writing for the Denver Post reminds us that the “I do” is only the beginning.
"I do" is only the beginning: Seven secrets to a lasting marriage
Communication, conflict-management and negotiation skills are more important than ever.
In her article she points out that with all the complications of this modern world have come more complications for healthy relbationships. It’s true. For the majority of my marriage; there couldn’t be fights about texting, FaceBook, or computer time. And when my husband and I got married; there were only a couple of channels to choose from.
Couples today need even more skills to deal with everything that is available, the ability to resolve conflicts and communicate effectively takes on even greater importance as time goes by.
Citing several helpful books, the seven areas highlighted include:
· Paying attention to every day annoyances. The famous ones like how to hang the toilet paper roll or squeeze the toothpaste tube, or those that surface in your relationship do matter. They all can convey one message, “you don’t respect me.” That’s why they matter.
· Know when to talk about things. The minute someone walks in the door or in the middle of an irritating moment is probably not the time to say “I wanted to talk to you about this.” Instead, pick a good time, when you are both able to concentrate and listen.
· A 10 minute rule. Spend at least that much time in a day talking about things other than the kids, your job etc.
· Give men affirmations. We ladies tend to get it from sisters, mothers and girlfriends whereas men look to their wives. Of course as any woman would tell you, she would like them from her husband too.
· Don’t live together unless you are planning a married future together. Living together without a plan to marry is more likely to lead to divorce once you do marry.
So there you have it, read the article and get more details on the seven areas.
What do you think? Do you agree with the seven, or would you say something different?
Let us hear from you with a blog response!