It's Almost Marriage Ref Time

posted by Michele Olson

This Sunday NBC is giving us a look at the much publicized “The Marriage Ref” program, from executive producer Jerry Seinfeld. This Sunday provides a half hour “appetizer” if you will with the regular hour long format hitting the airwaves on Thursdays starting March 4th.

Because the show is hosted by comedian Tom Papa (pictured) it should be clear that this program is about entertainment, not serious marriage advice. The previews do make it look like a good time. Placing it right after the highly viewed Olympics also tells us that NBC has high hopes for the future of the show.

The idea started when Jerry was having a disagreement with his own wife. A friend was visiting, and offered to leave. Jerry asked her to stay and referee the argument. He invited her to make a decision and they would abide by it. Jerry said his side, his wife said her side, and the visitor sided with Jerry’s wife. Jerry felt that no matter the outcome, the disagreement had a very short duration and was resolved. That’s the part that he loved and wanted to do a show about.

Each episode shows candid video of a couple having an argument, probably one that they have had many times before. The topics vary, but they are not the kinds of things that would end in divorce or be hurtful. It’s obvious from the previews that the show is looking for quirky, whimsical things to center on. Heavy topics will not be the focus. The topics fall more into the “toothpaste tube squeeze and how you put the toilet paper on the roller” categories.

During the show, the viewing audience along with a panel of celebrities watches the previously taped argument. Keep in mind these are celebrities there to say funny things, not necessarily couples who have had long lasting relationships themselves. The celebrities who initially do include Jerry Seinfeld weigh in on the argument with their opinions. Papa makes the final call as to who wins the argument. The winning spouse then gets a prize.

Check the show out and see if it makes you laugh, because that is the point. For actual encouragement and resources for your marriage, tune into thinkmarriage.org. Since none of us will have a comic relief referee showing up at our marital disagreements, sticking to learning communication and conflict resolution skills is probably a good idea.


From the NBC casting site…want to be on the show?
The Marriage Ref" casting team is searching the country for outgoing and opinionated couples in long-term relationships, willing to appear on national television, who have a long standing argument or issue that must be resolved. No problem is too small!

* Is there an object, a person, or a habit (e.g. computer, pet, a friend, the remote control) that is a third wheel in your relationship and causes a problem?

* Does your partner have an annoying obnoxious habit or item that causes fights?

* Does your partner do things like withhold sex after a fight?

Whether you argue about parenting, pets, fashion, money, in-laws, weight, housework, chores, communication, neatness, jealousy, past history, friends, sex... Whatever you argue about, we want to hear from you. Tell us why you absolutely NEED a MARRIAGE REF to weigh in and decide who is RIGHT and who is WRONG.

Couples across America ... we want to hear what absolutely makes you nuts when it comes to your partner! Tell us your beef and you might just get the chance to state your case on TV. Wouldn't it be great to settle the issue once and for all?!

If this sounds like you or someone you know, please contact the Casting Team IMMEDIATELY (BEFORE we arrive in town) at the hotline number: 877.304.4040 and email: marriagerefcasting@shedmediaus.com

Married to An Olympian; Keeping it Real

posted by Michele Olson

Are you watching the Olympics? My husband and I are enjoying them, and admiring what it takes to be an elite athlete. There are several big names getting big endorsements, but by far, there are many more unknown names. What about the marriages of those who aren’t making the big headlines? That’s the subject of a book by one of Canada’s top skeleton racers and his wife who want others to know about the struggle of their marriage and what we can all learn from their experiences.

Yvonne Zacharias of the Vancouver Sun relays the story of Jeff and Aly Pain in her article: What to Expect if You Marry an Elite Athlete. This couple has written a book: The Business of Marriage and Medals: A Relationship's Journey Through Elite Performance.

As a spouse looks lovingly on at an event of some kind, that moment of glory may not reflect the years of struggle and discord as one spouse is dedicated to a sport. Jeff and Aly’s journey included financing the first five years of Jeff's sliding career themselves. That was accomplished with trips to the pawnshop and living on very little.

Aly wanted to tell their story because she thinks it can help other couples who live with big struggles in their marriage. Whatever the reasons; financial pressures, long absences and lack of balance are hard on any marriage.

Amazingly, Jeff hits the nail on the head by acknowledging that false expectations and lack of communication were at the heart of the problems. That can be true of any marriage.

While they didn’t actually separate, Aly did feel it was over more than once. The irony is that Aly worked full-time as a life and relationship coach to replace Jeff's lost income. Aly talks about the fact that most people don’t realize Olympic families have to pay all their own expenses to get to Olympic games, costs that can really add up for an already strapped couple.

They both agree that communication is the key to making it. As Jeff’s career is getting closer to being done in the sport, they aren’t sure what he will do for a living. With a silver medal in the 2006 Olympics, his ninth place finish this time around points to a career coming to a close. There will probably be no lucrative endorsements waiting to walk in and save the day. He does want to pick something that allows him to become “the golden father and husband he wants to be.”

All the best to Jeff, Aly and their two sons as they go forward in life. Hopefully elite athlete marriages and all marriages will learn from what they’ve been through. Looking for a great resource for your marriage? Visit www.thinkmarriage.org

Can Retro Ideas Change Your Relationship Today?

Posted by Michele Olson

A recent Web MD article poses an interesting question: should you take relationship advice from your peers, or is there something more to learn from someone more your parents or grandparents age?

Seems going retro when it comes to advice may not be a bad idea. Here’s a quick look at some of the retro tips mentioned in the article. Some ideas come from early 1900 manuals!

Tip number one talks about reinstating good old fashioned civility.

When you started out with your spouse you probably were very good at saying please, thank you and pardon me. That shouldn’t have changed. Being polite, especially to those you are with every day can go a long way in making life more enjoyable and helping it run more smoothly. We can get very lazy in this area, talking more kindly to the grocery store clerk than we do to our loved ones. It’s still nice to help someone on with a coat, open a door or extend a kindness.

Tip number two from the article is one that is near and dear to our hearts at thinkmarriage.org.
Write a love letter. In this day of texting and instant everything, taking the time to write a love letter or even an “I really like and appreciate you” letter can have a big impact on a relationship.

Tip three: It’s OK to sleep in separate beds or even different rooms. Snoring, sleep apnea, tossing and turning and seeking different temperatures can lead to a lack of sleep, which can lead to some very grumpy spouses. Separate sleeping arrangements does not mean couples can’t pursue snuggling and loving at any moment they choose. Couples may be more inclined to feel amorous when they aren’t tired or miffed at a cover hog!

Tip four: Don’t give up your interests and your same-sex friends.
It’s a recent trend for couples to want to do everything together including their hobbies. It’s also a more recent happening that society looks at couples who aren’t spending all their time together as showing something amiss in the relationship. It’s possible to have very different interests and still be really crazy about each other. It’s probably why there used to be more “Women’s Clubs” and men at the lodge.

Tip five: We used to take more time to look good. Casual Friday has given way to casual every day and sometimes spouses only see each other in sweats and t shirts for weeks on end.

It’s a good article and I’ve given you my take on their tips. Reflect and consider if some of these changes would be good for your healthy relationship. Thoughts? Full article here.

Every Day Heart Matters

posted by Michele Olson

Let’s see if we can relate two “heart” matters!

A study just came out that says people with a tendency to experience positive emotions, such as being happy, enthusiastic and content, are also less likely to develop heart disease than people who don’t experience life that way.

A recent CBS poll says Nine out of ten (90%) married Americans would marry their spouse again, a percentage which has barely changed since 1995 (when it was 93%).
What did the couples in the poll think was most important when it came to having a successful relationship? Again, maybe a few surprises if you listen too many of the experts take on what makes a couple tick.
About half of the couple picked "Respect" (49%), followed by "Trust" (37%), and a "Sense of humor" (10%). "Sex" was picked by 2%. "Money" recorded 0%.

Since February is heart health month….I think we can do a little math and deduce that married people who respect and trust one another while taking some time for fun have more of a tendency of experiencing positive emotions in life…which can lead to less heart disease!

Now while a scientist may not come to those conclusions, us every day folk can ponder that and realize that the work we put into our healthy marriages is worth it on so many levels…truly matters of the heart!

Would you marry your spouse again? Let us hear from you.

Is Jakarta On To Something?

posted by Michele Olson

To bring down rising divorce rates and domestic violence, officials in Jakarta Indonesia have a solution in the works: a three week pre-marriage course which provides a certificate. Without out it you can’t get married!

The course will be mandatory for everyone, including foreign Muslim citizens getting married under Indonesian law. The three weeks of learning will include things that a would-be married couple needs to know before getting married and also how to make a successful family. Reproductive health, family planning, financial management, child education and marriage according to sharia law will also be taught.

Why the move? They want to do something about the family problems on the rise and they see education as the tool to make that happen. Curbing rising divorce rates due to economic problems, polygamy, physical abuse and extra-marital affairs has become a top priority.

According to the Jakarta Post the government is drafting a law on marriage, by which those involved in nikah siri, contractual marriage or mut’ah, and those not registered in the office, could face up to three years in jail and be fined up to Rp 12 million (about US$1,200).

We can all agree that the government mandating pre-marital education would not fly here in the land of the free and the home of the brave, but the point should not be lost on us in the West. Strongly encouraging all couples heading to marriage to take part in pre-marital education is a good idea.

Many people seek pre-marital inventory educational opportunities from their house of worship, however, excellent resources are available for everyone-including the online opportunities available right now through thinkmarriage.org

Do your upcoming marriage a favor…even without government mandates! Take the Engaged Couples Check-Up available on our home page, and then really put the icing on the cake by following up with one of our online pre-marriage courses, which will take you through your findings to a deeper level.

It’s a small financial and time investment in comparison to your goal of a satisfying life-long marriage. It’s more important than the cake, dress, and flowers…so put it at the top of your “get it done” list! You won’t be sorry.

Are you married and have you participated in a pre-marital inventory? What was your experience?

Are you engaged? Are you planning on a pre-marital course of some type? Why or why not?

9,000 PLUS , What about YOU?

posted by Michele Olson

Home Front: Express Your Love Every Day by Jenny Bruns writing in the Fayetteville Observer keeps it real by telling her Valentine’s Day experience as a military wife who didn’t get to spend the holiday with her spouse. She coins a new interesting phrase: a Valentine's Day Grooge. That's Grinch and Scrooge combined. Her article caught our eye because she mentions getting a Marriage Myth Buster Guide and a Love Letter Kit from thinkmarriage.org

Our love letters went around the country as never before this year…over 9,000 new people now know a little more about thinkmarriage.org We’re pretty excited about that as we are on the cusp of growing our website resources which now include “check-ups” for singles, engaged and married couples. We will also be offering more and more opportunities for online classes. Currently there are online opportunities for engaged couples.

Coaching for couples or individuals is also available. Not counseling or therapy, coaching takes your relationship education experience to another level with individualized attention for more focused help. Proactive in nature, coaching helps you to set relationship goals and achieve them. (Think about the Olympics…where would those athletes be without a good coach?)

We’d still love you to tell your love note and love letter stories on this blog. That encourages everyone! Will we hear from you?

The Hearts of Marriage

posted by Michele Olson


As National Marriage Week draws to a close we hope you've had a great week, given out lots of love notes and presented your love letter today.

See the comic to the left? It's meant to make you laugh! Hearts for married couples that say things like "The Seat Goes Down" and " R U Listening to Me?" Or did it make you irritated?

It's a good question about marriage. Are those little day to day things that happen between you and your spouse viewed as endearing or irritating? Now is a great time to resolve to work on your marriage and make it a satisfying experience. thinkmarriage.org hopes a love letter was a good beginning, but we won't leave you without more resources. Our website is going to grow soon and will continue to add more and more resources for your healthy relationship. Remember we offer workshops in Wisconsin, and online workshops and coaching for anyone via the Internet.

Make your marriage a priority as the year goes forward. It will be a choice you won't regret.

Encourage others by blogging here about what love notes and love letters meant to your week and relationship!

The Last Note Before the Letter!

posted by Michele Olson

The final day of our thinkmarriage.org Love Note Challenge as we celebrate National Marriage Week this week! Tomorrow, you present your love letter!

This is the “Our song” or “This song” category note:
Examples: When I hear “She loves you, yah yah yah”…I think boy does she ever!
When I hear (fill in song title you like) my mind goes right to you, and how much I love you.

After writing 7 love notes…your loved one is ready for Feb. 14th!
Tomorrow is Love letter day ! Present your love letter and please take the time to use this blog to tell us what's been happening...share the love!

Remember:Places to put your love note: on the remote, in a favorite cup, the bathroom mirror, the computer screen, a coat pocket, rear view mirror, water bottle, mobile phone, book being read, lunch bag.

You can get a downloadable love letter kit in the store at thinkmarriage.org There's still time to get your love letter written!

Today's Love Note-What's Happening With Your Notes?

posted by Michele Olson

Day Six of the thinkmarriage.org Love Note Challenge as we celebrate National Marriage Week this week! Our challenge started last Sunday and runs through tomorrow. Then on Sunday, you present your love letter! (It's not too late to be working on Sunday's full love letter, read about the downloadable kit below)

Feb. 12th
This is the Without You note:
Examples: Without you my ordinary days would be far more ordinary. You make life special.
Without you I would not be as cool as I am…right? You know it’s true! (I’m so lucky!)

Tip: After your love note is read, why not invite your honey to watch our :15 sec. to a better marriage webisodes found to the right, right here on our blog! You’ll enjoy them.

Want to get started on tomorrow's love note?

Here it is!

This is the “Our song” or “This song” category note:
Examples: When I hear “She loves you, yah yah yah”…I think boy does she ever!
When I hear (fill in song title you like) my mind goes right to you, and how much I love you.

Remember:
Places to put your love note: on the remote, in a favorite cup, the bathroom mirror, the computer screen, a coat pocket, rear view mirror, water bottle, mobile phone, book being read, lunch bag. Love notes lead up to the presentation of your full love letter on Feb. 14th. thinkmarriage.org is celebrating National Marriage Week Feb. 7-14th with love notes leading up to a love letter. Get a love letter kit along with tips on how to write one from http://www.thinkmarriage.org/, click on the store tab. In the interest of time get a downloadable kit for just $1.99!

Your Next Love Note to Write...Go!

posted by Michele Olson

Day Five of the thinkmarriage.org Love Note Challenge as we celebrate National Marriage Week this week! Our challenge runs every day through Feb. 13th. On Feb. 14th you present your Love Letter. This can be a simple as a post it note, or a plain piece of paper. Don’t forget to tell us your stories of what’s happening! (Because it's so close to Valentine's Day, get your downloadable Love Letter Kit, so you have it in time...see how below!)

Thursday Feb. 11th
This is the “If Money Were No Object” note…(wishes you would grant if you could)
Examples: If money were no object I would whisk you away to a tropical island where we would have our own private cabana on the beach forever. Maybe someday…I love you.
If money were no object, I would buy you seats at every Nascar event and we would stay at the best hotel in town with room service every day! Maybe someday…I love you.

Get a head start on Friday's love note! Here it is...

Feb. 12th
This is the Without You note:
Examples: Without you my ordinary days would be far more ordinary. You make life special.
Without you I would not be as cool as I am…right? You know it’s true! (I’m so lucky!)

Tip: After your love note is read, why not invite your honey to watch our :15 sec. to a better marriage webisodes found to the right, right here on our blog! You’ll enjoy them.

Remember:
Places to put your love note: on the remote, in a favorite cup, the bathroom mirror, the computer screen, a coat pocket, rear view mirror, water bottle, mobile phone, book being read, lunch bag. Love notes lead up to the presentation of your full love letter on Feb. 14th. thinkmarriage.org is celebrating National Marriage Week Feb. 7-14th with love notes leading up to a love letter. Get a love letter kit along with tips on how to write one from http://www.thinkmarriage.org/, click on the store tab. In the interest of time get a downloadable kit for just $1.99!

Another Great Opportunity to Share the Love with A Love Note!

posted by Michele Olson

Feb. 10th

Day Four of the thinkmarriage.org Love Note Challenge as we celebrate National Marriage Week this week! Our challenge runs every day through Feb. 13th. On Feb. 14th you present your Love Letter. This can be a simple as a post it note, or a plain piece of paper, join the fun!

This is the I Love this about you note….
Examples: I love how you can’t ever find the keys that are always in your pocket. I love your smile. I love the way you fold laundry. I love the way you crinkle your nose when you are in deep thought.

Would you like to get a head start on tomorrow's love note?

Feb. 11th
This is the “If Money Were No Object” note…(wishes you would grant if you could)
Examples: If money were no object I would whisk you away to a tropical island where we would have our own private cabana on the beach forever. Maybe someday…I love you.
If money were no object, I would buy you seats at every Nascar event and we would stay at the best hotel in town with room service every day! Maybe someday…I love you.

Tip: Is your sweetheart a gardener? You can get a kit that allows you to grow your own roses and officially register them with the name you give them! From giftrepublic.com

Remember:
Places to put your love note: on the remote, in a favorite cup, the bathroom mirror, the computer screen, a coat pocket, rear view mirror, water bottle, mobile phone, book being read, lunch bag. Love notes lead up to the presentation of your full love letter on Feb. 14th. thinkmarriage.org is celebrating National Marriage Week Feb. 7-14th with love notes leading up to a love letter. Get a love letter kit along with tips on how to write one from http://www.thinkmarriage.org/, click on the store tab. In the interest of time get a downloadable kit for just $1.99!

Day 3 and 4 of the Love Note Challenge

posted by Michele Olson

We’re already at Day Three of the thinkmarriage.org Love Note Challenge as we celebrate National Marriage Week this week! Our challenge runs every day through Feb. 13th. On Feb. 14th you present your Love Letter. This can be a simple as a post it note, or a plain piece of paper, just do it! Day four is also provided if you like to write ahead.

Day Three Tuesday Feb. 9th:

This is the “Every time I…” note: (things that are just between you two)
Examples:
Every time I sneeze I think of the time you sneezed and fell off the couch. LOL! xxxooo
Every time I see Aunt Madge’s wedding gift, I remember your first reaction. LOL! xxxooo

Day Four Wednesday Feb. 10th:

This is the I Love this about you note….
Examples: I love how you can’t ever find the keys that are always in your pocket. I love your smile. I love the way you fold laundry. I love the way you crinkle your nose when you are in deep thought.

Tip: On Feb. 14th in addition to presenting your love letter you can go to puzzlemaker.discoveryeducation.com and create a customized crossword that incorporates words and clues from your relationship.

Let us know what’s happening at your house because of Love notes!

Remember:
Places to put your love note: on the remote, in a favorite cup, the bathroom mirror, the computer screen, a coat pocket, rear view mirror, water bottle, mobile phone, book being read, lunch bag. Love notes lead up to the presentation of your full love letter on Feb. 14th. thinkmarriage.org is celebrating National Marriage Week Feb. 7-14th with love notes leading up to a love letter. Get a love letter kit along with tips on how to write one from http://www.thinkmarriage.org/, click on the store tab. In the interest of time get a downloadable kit for just $1.99!

Love Note Challenge Day Two and Three

posted by Michele Olson

Welcome to Day Two of the thinkmarriage.org Love Note Challenge as we celebrate National Marriage Week this week! Our challenge runs every day through Feb. 13th. On Feb. 14th you present your Love Letter. This can be a simple as a post it note, or a plain piece of paper, just do it! We’re also providing day three right now so you can get a head start on that note too!

Feb. 8th
This is the “You Are Priceless” note”; a take-off on the popular commercial.
Examples:
Brand new HD TV: $3,000. Snuggling and watching a movie with you on any TV: Priceless
A dozen roses: $59.00. Taking a walk with you and admiring daisies in the spring. Priceless

Tip! Is your honey on the road? You can text for free from onlinetextmessage.com and textinghome.com. Works if your loved one has a text enable phone.

Feb. 9th: (get started now!)

This is the “Every time I…” note: (things that are just between you two)
Examples:
Every time I sneeze I think of the time you sneezed and fell off the couch. LOL! xxxooo
Every time I see Aunt Madge’s wedding gift, I remember your first reaction. LOL! xxxooo

Let us know what’s happening at your house because of Love notes!


Remember:
Places to put your love note: on the remote, in a favorite cup, the bathroom mirror, the computer screen, a coat pocket, rear view mirror, water bottle, mobile phone, book being read, lunch bag. Love notes lead up to the presentation of your full love letter on Feb. 14th. thinkmarriage.org is celebrating National Marriage Week Feb. 7-14th with love notes leading up to a love letter. Get a love letter kit along with tips on how to write one from http://www.thinkmarriage.org/, click on the store tab. In the interest of time get a downloadable kit for just $1.99!

Take Our Love Note Challenge, It Starts Today!

Posted by Michele Olson

Welcome to day one of the thinkmarriage.org Love Note Challenge as we celebrate National Marriage Week this week! Our challenge begins today and runs every day through Feb. 13th. On Feb. 14th you present your Love Letter. All you do is write your love note and we even provide the topic. This can be as simple as a post it note, or a plain piece of paper. Just do it!

As you are getting started, think about this! Today 30 million pounds of snacks will be consumed because of Super Bowl Sunday. So grab your munchies and write today’s love note to your honey!

Sunday Feb. 7th:

This is the “You made me feel like a King/Queen note “

Take a moment and remember a time your loved one did something so special you felt like a King or a Queen. Remind them of how much you enjoyed that particular experience.

Examples:

Women: That time when it was snowing and I dreaded going to the store, you cleaned off the car and drove me and waited for me. You made me feel like a Queen. I love you.

Men: That time I worked late when I promised I would be home on time, and you still met me at the door with a big smile and hug. You made me feel like a King. I love you.

Remember:
Places to put your love note: on the remote, in a favorite cup, the bathroom mirror, the computer screen, a coat pocket, rear view mirror, water bottle, mobile phone, book being read, lunch bag. Love notes lead up to the presentation of your full love letter on Feb. 14th. Get a love letter kit along with tips on how to write one from www.thinkmarriage.org, click on the store tab. If time is of the essence to you, take advantage of our very inexpensive digital download of a kit.

Have fun with today's love note! Remember to blog this week and let us know what's happening!

Shout Out For A Unique Way to Help Haiti!

Posted by Michele Olson

Here's a shout out to a great organization doing something very unique to lend a hand in Haiti.

Yes, it's not on the news every night anymore, but the need will be there for years to come.

An organization called With This Ring is using donated wedding rings to raise money. Called a "radical giving" campaign, it's a way to raise money to rebuild a well in Haiti. We all know that water is vital to life, so this is a very tangible way to do something with all those feelings we all have as we watch what is happening in Haiti.

Visit the site, withthisring.org and also, visit the auction which is raising money for the rings.

Check it out and tell your friends. Another note! The thinkmarriage.org Love Note Challenge starts on Sunday and runs through the 13th, so also tell your friends to tune in every day to this very blog to take each day's challenge to write a love note on a topic. Fun stuff!

How are you celebrating National Marriage Week, Feb. 7 -14th?

Hey Goldilocks…How Much Support is “Just Right?”

posted by Michele Olson

Be more supportive. This seems to be a reasonable request in a relationship, even welcome advice. According to a Science Daily article based on a series of University of Iowa studies, too much support and the wrong kind of support are just as bad as not enough support.

After studying couples who were in their first few years of marriage it was shown that the husbands who received the right type of support were the most satisfied, while the wives who asked for support when they needed it felt the best.

The study also showed that couples need to understand the various ways they can be supportive and the importance of communicating what they need and when they need it.

There’s the big “C” word again, COMMUNICATION!

The idea that your spouse should know you so well, they should be able to know what you need or want is a big myth, and one that causes a lot of problems. That would fall under the category of “mind reading” and who has that ability?

The advice is pretty simple. State what you are feeling, and how you would like to be helped. If you don’t, then you are in danger of receiving even more support than you were envisioning.

When you don’t get enough support, you have options. You can reach out to family and friends.

When you get too much support, it’s an even more difficult adjustment according to the article. Too much information was often perceived as “unwanted advice” and was seen as the most detrimental in a relationship.

Four kinds of support were identified:
1) Physical comfort and emotional support. Example: a hug or empathizing while listening
2) Esteem support. Example: expressing confidence and providing encouragement
3) Information support. Example: advice or gathering information
4) Tangible support. Example: taking on the responsibilities or brainstorming solutions


Do you agree that too much support can be a problem?

Read the entire article here.

How Do You Refer to Your “CoupleHood?”

posted by Michele Olson

“We” is apparently a magic word according to an article by Sherryl Connelly in the New York Daily News . She wrote her article based on a new study from University of California, Berkeley.

Wondering how you would have responded in the study?

Ask yourself this question. If you are part of a couple, how do refer to that partnership when talking to other people? Do you say “we” or “I?” This study suggests that if you are more likely to use the word “we” you are also better at resolving conflicts in your relationship.

Words in your favor: “We, Our, Us.”

Words that show there may be problems: “I, Me, You.”

The findings showed that the couples who used “we speak” communicated easier and with less stress.

The “I” couples were shown to be less satisfied with each other.

Your verbiage seems to reveal if you think in a partnership mode. This style usually leads to facing problems together. If you usually use the word "I" and think more individually, even when referring to your partnership, you probably have less satisfaction in your marriage.

Interesting. Where do you fall in this language benchmark?