Monday, December 21, 2009

Can Science Help You Fall and Stay In Love?

posted by Michele Olson

If we were going on straight logic, you would think anyone who marries more than once would be more successful in any subsequent marriage, right? Statistically we know that’s not the case. Second and third marriages fail even faster. Are we unteachable or what’s the deal?

Consider this article: How Science Can Help You Fall In Love by Robert Epstein writing in Scientific American Mind. Working with his students at University of California in San Diego he observed different techniques tried by students who were complete strangers. Things like gazing into each other’s eyes for a period of time. It did something. It increased the closeness between the people. This led to the idea that there are some specific exercises you can do – deliberately – to increase closeness with your mate. More than 90 percent of the students who tried the recommended exercises reported improvement in their relationships.

This explains why some arranged marriages can do amazingly well…the people grow into love. While most Americans don’t go for the arranged marriage idea, and want to choose love while expecting the fairy tale to last a lifetime, this study suggests that love can actually be learned. By practicing the techniques recommended, love can be built over time. When love is fading, these techniques can rebuild it. So, since we know leaving it all to chance is not working over all, these findings could really make a big difference.
Read the article and leave some comments on what you think. Are you willing to try some of the ideas presented and let us know what happened?

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