What Do You Fight About?

posted by Michele Olson

Ask any American married couple what they fight about and you’ll probably hear things like; money, sex or household chores.
But in a fairly recent Redbook survey the winner at 20% was money.

Here’s how the survey broke down:
3% Flirting or cheating
5% Work
8% Household chores
8% Kids
9% Sex
9% Small daily issues
10% Affection or quality time
12% Other issues
16% Hardly ever argue
20% was the winner with MONEY

Take a look at your own relationship. Where do you fall in the statistics? Were you surprised by this breakdown?

Beth Kobliner, author of the New York Times best seller Get a Financial Life offers these tips:

1) Opposites attract. Spendy tends to marry thrifty. And it’s difficult for people to change their money ways…they think they are right. So speak frankly to each other about your tendencies. Don’t hide your pattern. Set realistic limits…agree on how much you will spend each week.

2) Establish ground rules. Some couples don’t talk about money except in their designated once a week “money talk” time. Keep a journal of your concerns, so you have an outlet for your worries or fears when it’s not that night of the week to talk about money.

3) Take a once a year check up about your money. Have a one day “money fest” to discuss long term goals, and what is currently happening. Sign up together on a website like mint.com. Talk about paying down your debt and saving for the future.

You can’t talk about things you say? Then you need a thinkmarriage.org online or in person workshop or coaching on how to communicate and resolve conflicts.

Don’t let cash be a divider in your family. Talk about money and watch your love dividends grow by leaps and bounds!