and Jason Miller cooked up “Project Everlasting” to document what couples married for at least 40 years had to say about why their marriage lasted. Their hope is to help young people of their generation learn how to stay married.After hundreds of hours of interviews, they discovered some common themes. Guess what? The list is composed of plain, old-fashioned values.
Top 5 Secrets of long-married couples:We would like to point out that these are more than just a philosophy of marriage. These are actions that the long-term couples have taken that have kept their marriages together. The couples that have stayed together have suffered for it, put their spouse’s feelings and needs ahead of their own, made their marriage their first priority in life, and stuck with it even when they got much worse than they bargained for.
1. Being uncomfortable (suffering) for the sake of the marriage
2. Respecting each other
3. Putting the marriage first, before work or even children
4. Sacrificing for each other
5. Sticking with the marriage no matter what happens
In other words, the bottom line for a lifelong marriage is being a person who will stick to your word to love, honor and cherish, no matter what it costs you. Not very glamorous, but, if you listen to these couples, deeply rewarding in the long run.
Read an article on Project Everlasting from the Deseret Morning News. Order the documentary on DVD from the producers.
1 comment:
One additional point to note: these values apply to basically healthy relationships. Anyone who is in an unsafe or dangerous relationship should seek professional help. If you don't know where to go to find help and you feel like your relationship may be unsafe or dangerous, you can always start by calling the national crisis line at 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or by clicking this link:
http://www.ndvh.org/
Comment posted by:
Susan Dutton Freund
Executive Director
thinkmarriage.org
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