Great article by Ron Lieber in The New York Times on Money Talks to Have Before Marriage.
Recognizing that a divorce can be not only emotionally devastating, but financially devastating as well, this article brings up four things that couples should be talking about BEFORE they marry.
Here’s an overview….
Ancestry
How did your parents deal with money? Because many of our money habits are learned, it’s important to talk about money attitudes that we might not even realize we have. For example, did one parent hide money from the other? Did you see your parents talk about money? What kind of emotions do those memories evoke?
Credit
Have you compared credit scores? While not particularly romantic it does open up an honest discussion of where you are financially, and how you got there. It’s also an opportunity to fix anything that is in error, or you can “clean up” which may allow you as a couple to get better rates for future loans.
Control
Who is going to pay the bills in your house or are you going to do it together? It can become a huge control issue in your marriage if you don’t agree. Here’s another pivotal question: If one person is making most of the money, do they make most of the financial decisions?
Affluence
Here’s one couples really don’t talk about: How rich do you want to be someday? Are you on the same path or do you have very different ideas of where you want to go when it comes to money?
These are great topics to be talking about pre-marriage, and thoughts you probably have to revisit as a married couple. Here's an interesting article from Redbook Magazine on How Couples Share Their Money...worth the read too.
Engaged? Are you talking about money?
Married? Did you talk about money pre-marriage? How has money affected your relationship?
Divorced? Did money play a role in the demise of your marriage?
Recognizing that a divorce can be not only emotionally devastating, but financially devastating as well, this article brings up four things that couples should be talking about BEFORE they marry.
Here’s an overview….
Ancestry
How did your parents deal with money? Because many of our money habits are learned, it’s important to talk about money attitudes that we might not even realize we have. For example, did one parent hide money from the other? Did you see your parents talk about money? What kind of emotions do those memories evoke?
Credit
Have you compared credit scores? While not particularly romantic it does open up an honest discussion of where you are financially, and how you got there. It’s also an opportunity to fix anything that is in error, or you can “clean up” which may allow you as a couple to get better rates for future loans.
Control
Who is going to pay the bills in your house or are you going to do it together? It can become a huge control issue in your marriage if you don’t agree. Here’s another pivotal question: If one person is making most of the money, do they make most of the financial decisions?
Affluence
Here’s one couples really don’t talk about: How rich do you want to be someday? Are you on the same path or do you have very different ideas of where you want to go when it comes to money?
These are great topics to be talking about pre-marriage, and thoughts you probably have to revisit as a married couple. Here's an interesting article from Redbook Magazine on How Couples Share Their Money...worth the read too.
Engaged? Are you talking about money?
Married? Did you talk about money pre-marriage? How has money affected your relationship?
Divorced? Did money play a role in the demise of your marriage?
4 comments:
I am engaged and my fiance and I have been talking often about money and planning on how we want to put ours to use, as well as discussing ways we want to spend it and how much we plan to have at certain points of life.
Bravo Kaitlyn!
You are light years ahead of many couples and saving yourselves lots of frustration in the future by getting on the same page financially right now as you prepare for marriage. I'll bet you are also talking about a lot of subjects ahead of time. Awesome!
I would also encourage you to take some type of pre-marital inventory or workshop before your marriage. These are often available through a church...but if you need a resource, we can also provide religious or non religious resources. Tell all your friends you know seriously dating or engaged to follow your example! Thanks for blogging and we look forward to hearing more about your journey to marriage and beyond.
Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post "No teme" in your blog with the link to you?
Hello to Russia!
Yes, you can always quote anything from us as long as you cite us as the source www.thinkmarriage.org
Send me an email and tell me more about life and relationships in Russia. michele@thinkmarriage.org
How are you using the blog?
Keep blogging!
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