We're On Twitter and Love Note Tip

Posted by Michele Olson

Are you on twitter? Social Media sites are exploding, but this is truly a "fun one" and short and easy! thinkmarriage is on on twitter. You can follow us and keep up with everything going on...

Simply visit the twitter site and open a twitter account. You can find us there by just searching thinkmarriage. Once signed up, you'll get our twitters...very short thoughts and updates of what's happening at thinkmarriage.org Just another great way to stay in touch!

So...how are you doing on your love notes? Here are the rest to lead up to Valentine's Day. Remember we want to hear all about your Love Note and Love Letter Experience!

Feb. 11th This is the When We Are Apart I Miss…note:
Examples: When we are apart I miss the sound of your voice. When we are apart I think about how much I can’t wait to see you again. When we are apart life is just not as sunny.

Feb. 12th This is quote from your favorite song note:
Examples: Oh baby, I love your way. or B-b-b-baby you just ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Or I want to hold your hand… or any song quote you want!

Feb. 13th Use your loved ones name or a word and make an acrostic poem note:
For example:
M- Magnificent beauty A-Always so sweet R- Radiant smile Y-Yes, I love you so much!

D- Daring and fun
A-A handsome hottie!
R-Rugged good looks
L-Love love love to be with you
I-It’s you babe!
N-No one else for me but you.
G-Get over here and let me hug you!

Have fun!

The Love Note Habit

Posted by Michele Olson

By the end of this week...hopefully you'll be in some kind of love note habit! While you may not write a love note every day after this week, it is important to be your special someone's biggest cheerleader! In fact in a recent UCLA study it's even more important to be happy for your mate when things are going good ...than when they are not. The study found that couples who respond "energetically and positively" to one another's successes, by say for example...leaving a "Way to go" love note...report feeling happier with each other than those whose responses are more low key. So why not use this week to let your loved one know that when they see a little love note...they are about to feel great!

Love note seed ideas for this week....

Feb. 10th This is the You Remind Me Of….note:
Examples: You remind me of the first time I see a spring Robin. You remind me of how happy I am on Christmas morning. You remind me of sitting with my toes in a pond on a hot summer day. You remind me of that first wonderful sip of Cola after a long bike ride.

Feb. 11th
This is the When We Are Apart I Miss…note:
Examples: When we are apart I miss the sound of your voice. When we are apart I think about how much I can’t wait to see you again. When we are apart life is just not as sunny.

Feb. 12th
This is quote from your favorite song note:
Examples: Oh baby, I love your way. or B-b-b-baby you just ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Or I want to hold your hand… or any song quote you want!

What happened when you left a love note?

Jump on the Love Note Bandwagon

Posted by Michele Olson

Love Notes

If you are here for the first time...jump on our love note bandwagon! To celebrate National Marriage Week Feb. 7 -14th we have Love Letter Kits available. Leading up to Feb. 14th, if that's when you choose to present your love letter...we are encouraging "Love Notes" Here are some seed ideas for your love note.

Feb. 9th: This is the Without You note:
Examples: Without you I would not enjoy every day like I do. Without you we would never have such special birthdays. Without you we would all be wearing mismatched socks, every day.

Feb. 10th This is the You Remind Me Of….note:
Examples: You remind me of the first time I see a spring Robin. You remind me of how happy I am on Christmas morning. You remind me of sitting with my toes in a pond on a hot summer day. You remind me of that first wonderful sip of Cola after a long bike ride.

Feb. 11th This is the When We Are Apart I Miss…note:
Examples: When we are apart I miss the sound of your voice. When we are apart I think about how much I can’t wait to see you again. When we are apart life is just not as sunny.

(Any day is a good day for a love note, so if you didn't use these ideas yet...keep things going after the 13th!)

Feb. 7th: This is the I Love note….
Examples: I love to hug you. I love your smile. I love to make you laugh. I love the way you fold laundry. I love the way you crinkle your nose when you are in deep thought. Start your note with the words: I Love…

Feb. 8th This is the You make me laugh or smile note:
Examples: You make me laugh when I hear you laughing at your favorite show.
You make me smile when you fluff my pillow at night. You make me laugh when you tell the kids bedtime stories in your monster voice.

Remember! We want to hear the stories of what happened with your love notes and love letters...please leave some comments on this blog!

Take Our Love Note Challenge!

Are You Ready to Take The Love Note Challenge?

In honor of National Marriage Week Feb. 7-14th...we are giving out Love Letter Kits. Although love letters are appropriate for any day of the year, many people will give their letter on Feb. 14th, Valentines Day.
Our Love Note Challenge involves giving your loved one a love note every day Feb. 7 -13th, with the 14th being the day you give your Love Letter. Here are the seed ideas to get you ready for the next few days!

A love note really does make someone’s day. It can be as simple as a sticky note, or perhaps you have some cards or beautiful paper that you want to use.
The point is…make the person feel loved. Places to put your love note: on the remote, in a favorite cup, the bathroom mirror, the computer screen, a coat pocket, rear view mirror, water bottle, mobile phone, book being read, lunch bag.


Seed ideas for love notes Feb. 7 -13th.

Feb. 7th:
This is the I Love note….
Examples: I love to hug you. I love your smile. I love to make you laugh. I love the way you fold laundry. I love the way you crinkle your nose when you are in deep thought. Start your note with the words: I Love…

Feb. 8th
This is the You make me laugh or smile note:
Examples: You make me laugh when I hear you laughing at your favorite show.
You make me smile when you fluff my pillow at night. You make me laugh when you tell the kids bedtime stories in your monster voice.

Feb. 9th:
This is the Without You note:
Examples: Without you I would not enjoy every day like I do. Without you we would never have such special birthdays. Without you we would all be wearing mismatched socks, every day.

Watch this blog for the rest of your ideas!
Let us know by blogging what happened when you took the time to give love notes and a love letter!

Online Healthy Relationship Education is HERE!

Posted by Michele Olson

Anyone who has ever come to one of our thinkmarriage.org workshops has learned something to enhance their current or future relationship. It's that simple. Unfortunately, we just can't reach enough people with on-the-ground-classes alone. Now we are adding something that should fit into everyones schedule. You can now take healthy relationship or marriage workshops online in the comfort of your own home! If time and scheduling has been preventing you from taking advantage of learning more communication and conflict resolution skills...online learning is for you!

Each online workshop will begin with a FREE online teleseminar to give you a class overview and idea of what to expect. After the teleseminar you will have the opportunity to register for the workshop...and also the chance to save money in the process.

We have a free teleseminar for teens, singles, seriously dating and engaged couples and married couples. Because it's online, you and your partner do not even need to be in the same city to do the course together.

The FREE teleseminars are coming up shortly in February....

Monday Feb. 23rd 8-9 PM CST Family Wellness for married couples.

Tuesday Feb. 24th 7-8 PM CST P.I.C.K a Partner for seriously dating and engaged couples

Wednesday Feb. 25th 8-9 PM CST Conscious Dating for Singles

Thursday Feb. 26th 7-8 PM CST Love U2 for Teens

Register for the free teleseminar by going to the classes tab at thinkmarriage.org

It costs nothing to find out more...don't miss out!

Remember: Healthy relationships work when you work on your healthy relationships!

Love Notes Build to a Love Letter

Posted by Michele Olson

It's the third year we are bringing the timeless idea of Love Letters to you! You can get a free Love Letter Kit from thinkmarriage.org simply by emailng us and including your name and mailing address. We'd also love to send you a FREE Marriage Myth Buster Guide.

Our Love Letter kits include tips on how to write a love letter, healthy relationship tips and the stationery. In a recent survey more women wanted a love letter than they did candy, flowers or even diamonds! This is your year to write a love letter!

New this year is the love note! Each day starting Feb. 7 -13th...(Feb. 7 -14th is National Marriage Week!) we'll be posting a seed idea for a love note on this blog and on our website. You just customize the seed idea to your life...and voila! A love note! You can put it on the bathroom mirror, in a lunch box, a pocket ...or anywhere you know your sweetie pie will find it!

Could love notes and love letters change the world? We think so. They could also open the door for you to pursue healthy relationship and marriage education. We have great opportunities going on throughout the state of Wisconsin...and now...for anyone as we get ready to do online learning. That will be the subject of the next blog!

Meanwhile, we want to hear from you about your love notes and love letter. Tell us anything...

how did you feel writing it? What were the results? What did you learn? How did it affect your relationship? Please take the time to tell us your story. We want to know!

Six Words

Posted by Michele Olson

Can you sum up your romantic life in just six words?

Maybe I can, maybe I can't.

You get the picture, don't you?

It makes you focus on words.

It's actually quite fun to do.

That's the word challenge that was put out by Reader's Digest in their February heart issue. Here's a sampling...

Where he is, I am home. -- Julia Evans

In hindsight, I'd still choose you. -- Natana Gill

Love: eight pounds and six ounces. -- Kenny Clark

Willing to blog your idea here?

The whole article here, just click.

Blog, let us hear your version!

This could be fun, participate now!

Real Growing Pains

posted by Michele Olson

Today, what turned out to be the most popular independent film of 2008 is being released on DVD. The movies name is FireProof.*

Is it getting an Academy Award? No.

Is it worth seeing? Yes.

The background story includes the fact that the movie was produced by Sherwood Baptist Church...the same people who brought the "little film that could" to the table called Facing the Giants. Fireproof was made for a mere $500,000-chump change by Hollywood standards.

Kirk Cameron mostly known by TV audiences from Growing Pains fame plays the role of Captain Caleb Holt, who finds himself in a rocky marriage on the verge of divorce. That is when Caleb's father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day experiment known as "The Love Dare." The release of the movie on DVD will allow more couples who are struggling in their marriage to possibly "see themselves" in story form on the big screen. It may open a door for them that they would not have considered had they not viewed the movie. That's valuable.

The movie does contain a faith based message, but also manages to depict what life is really like when things are going south in a relationship.

So now that you can watch this movie in the comfort of your own home...why not?

It can't hurt!

*Fireproof does contain religious content

If The Shoe Fits

posted by Michele Olson

When something big happens in the economy, the “future tellers” come out in droves to tell us what to expect or what this means. One big trend being touted is the idea that it’s better to “repair than replace.”

That makes sense.

Your expensive shoes wearing out? Better to get them resoled than to buy a whole new pair. Your lawn equipment on the fritz? Better to get it repaired than to buy a whole new lawnmower.

Your husband or wife driving you crazy?

Better to repair than replace.

That’s right. We come from an era of “out with the old and in with the new”…but we know statistically that when a marriage ends, the same processes that worked to build family wealth now work in reverse to drain the bank account.

We already have too many things draining our bank accounts…let’s not add a divorce to the mix.
That’s where marriage education comes in. At thinkmarriage.org (click the classes tab) we have some very affordable marriage education classes that you and your spouse can attend.

You’ll learn healthy ways to communicate and resolve conflicts.

Explore thinkmarriage.org and this blog to learn healthy relationship tips that can go a long way in “repairing” your marriage.

Times are tough. Repair instead of replace.

Maybe what’s good for the sole, is good for soul mates.

I Love You Around the World

Posted by Michele Olson

Reader's Digest recently posed the question:

How often do you tell your spouse "I love you?"

Below is the percentage of people in each country surveyed who tell their wife or husband "I love you" every day.

Australia 65%
Brazil 56%
Canada 55%
France 57%
Greece 51%
India 47%
Italy 50%
South Africa 70%
Spain 60%
Turkey 44%
United Kingdom 65%
United States 67%

Any surprises for you? English-speakers (and respondents under 45) were found to be among the most expressive. USA is up toward the top...but this is one contest I think we would like to win against the rest of the world. (Or maybe we can all get to 100%!)

See the in-depth statistics here.

Strong Washington Marriages

posted by Michele Olson

It's a historic day in our country. Here's something to ponder as you reflect on everything happening. Our outgoing President entered, kept and is leaving with what appears to be a strong healthy marriage intact.

That's an accomplishment in a job that has to be an ultimate stress on marriage!

Our incoming President has shown himself to be a strong family man with a strong marriage at a time in our history when we need to see that. According to a 2005 UC Davis economists study, divorce has an even greater impact on African American children than white children. The study found that in the first two years following a divorce, family income among white children falls about 30percent, while it falls by 53 percent among black children. The study also found that in three or more years after a divorce, about a third of the loss in whites' household income is recouped, but the income of black families barely improves.

Here are some more staggering facts:

Only 44.9% of Black householders in family households live with a spouse.

Black families are less likely to contain a married couple than all other groups.

Black males and females are more likely to be unmarried than Whites, Hispanics, or American Indian/Alaskan Natives

(More statistic available from: US Department of Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.)

At thinkmarriage.org we know that strong and healthy relationships and marriages are the foundation of a strong America.

Of all the hopes, prayers and wishes we have for the new first family...a strong marriage through President Obama's term has to be one of the most important we can hope for.

Let's Hope This Year Is Different

Posted by Michele Olson

Today, Jan 12th, is traditionally known as the busiest day for divorce filings. That's a sad statistic. The thinking is that possibly people hold on through the holidays before passing on the bad news to their kids.

If you're a tax payer, which is most of us, it's also bad news for you. The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing: First Ever Estimates for the Nation and all 50 States report is available at thinkmarriage.org, or you can download it here.

If you want to do better in these tough economic times, the truth is a family can live cheaper under one roof. The sad truth is 41% of women end up in poverty following a divorce.

Statistics also show that by the time you file for divorce, you have been thinking about it for seven years. Whether those thoughts are floating around in your head or not, why not be proactive? Take a marriage education workshop, read a good book about marriage like How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny. There are more good resources listed on this blog.

I hope next year I'm able to write a blog about the fact that January 12th was no longer a day known for the highest rate of divorce filings, but instead, more people signed up for a marriage education workshop or ordered a book on marriage. Now that would be a January 12th worth remembering.

The Military and Marriage

posted by Michele Olson


Every day stress in life can be hard on a relationship, but throw in an allegiance to Uncle Sam and you can imagine the added problems that could arise.

God Bless every single person who has or ever will serve in the military, in any capacity. That being said, serving your country can be tough on your marriage.

Thank goodness that many branches of the military are paying attention to this fact.
Military divorce rates rose by .1 percent – to 3.4 percent- during fiscal 2008, with 492 more divorces that the previous year according to a Pentagon spokesperson.

The Marine Corp experienced the biggest increase…from 3.3. to 3.7 percent. That adds up to 3,077 divorces last year. The Army also increased while the rate dropped .2 percent in the Navy and remained stable in the Air Force.

The military services are now providing a full range of outreach programs. They are often offered through the services’ family support, chaplain and mental health counseling networks.

If you are in the military, or have a family member or friend serving our country…encourage marriage education for every military couple. That includes couples who are done with their service and are adjusting back to civilian life.

To read more on this subject visit The Military Family Network.

Want to thank a military person or couple for their service to our country? thinkmarriage.org has gift certificates available for healthy relationship/marriage workshops in six Wisconsin counties.

Tell us your story as a couple in the military.

Virginity Pledge Study Reminds Us to Beware of Sound Bites

posted by Michele Olson


Coffee is good for you. Coffee is bad for you. A different sound bite each day. Unless you go and read the details of each study, you will form your opinion based on short sound bites and newspaper headlines.

Upon delving into a study on coffee, you may find coffee in moderation is good for you, but excessive “Joe” will cause other problems.

Unless you dig a little, you won’t get to the story behind the story.

That’s what has happened with a recent study published in the Jan. 1 edition of Pediatrics. The author concluded that teens who take a virginity pledge until marriage really don’t behave any differently who those who don’t take a pledge.

Here’s what you saw in the headlines:

Virginity Pledges Don’t Stop Teen Sex - CBS

Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds - Washington Post

Study: Teens Who Pledge Abstinence More Likely to Have Unprotected Sex
-Fox News

As a parent or someone who works with teens, you are probably thinking…"Well, so much for that idea…”

Not so fast.

William McGurn in an Opinion Journal on the Wall Street Journal website has posted an article
highlighting the disconnect noticed in the study by Dr. Bernadine Healy, former chief of the National Institutes of Health (the first woman to hold the influential post), former head of the American Red Cross, and former deputy director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy.

Dr. Healy points out that the only way the study author, Janet Elise Rosenbaum of John Hopkins University could come to such results is by comparing teens who take a virginity pledge with a very small subset of other teens: those who are just as religious and conservative as the pledge-takers. She brought to light the fact that “virginity pledging teens were considerably more conservative in their overall sexual behaviors than teens in general, a fact that many media reports have missed cold.”

It’s not the pledge itself that distinguishes these kids from most teenagers. The real difference is their more conservative and religious home and social environment. When comparing both groups with teens at large, the behavioral differences are striking.

Those differences are listed in the opinion piece, which is well worth reading.

That's quite a different story than what you can garner from the headlines.

That, as Paul Harvey for is famous for saying, Is the Rest of the Story.

A thinkmarriage workshop attendees letter

posted by Michele Olson

Did you ever want to hear from someone who attended a thinkmarriage.org workshop?

I hope this prompts you to make plans to take a healthy relationship/marriage education workshop this year!

Letter to us from Z:

I have been engaged for a little over 2 months to a man who is truly the love of my life, and who has blessed me by feeling the same way about me. Our relationship is not without complication or pain, but everything we do, we do deeply and with vigor. We have been together for over four years, and nothing could have ever prepared me for the ever-present beauty that has come with our journey. There are elements of fear on my part; compliments of our already once-divorced statuses and our decision two years ago to buy a house together. I realize that statistics show the odds are against us - more so even than the national divorce rate for first marriages and non-cohabitators. But I know that we have what it takes.

Several weeks ago we signed up for the P.I.C.K. a Partner class through thinkmarriage.org - this occurred shortly after we became engaged. My how dynamics have changed - this engagement has introduced an ever-present "elephant" in the room, and taking this class has given us the insight and resources we need to face and conquer that elephant, always taking it one day at a time.

Things I know now that I didn't know "then" (and I thank God every day for):

1 - We are working harder than we ever thought necessary. Human beings are not simple creatures and unearthing the mysteries of our personal depths is exhausting, but so rewarding.
2 - There is no black and white solution to any disagreement. Focusing on and embracing the gray area is its own reward. Learning to do that takes maturity and an open mind.
3 - A successful relationship (and eventually a happy marriage) doesn't mean no conflict. Coming to realize that and making the best of it will only make us stronger.
4 - I can only change myself. Period. And in knowing this, I am acutely aware of what I'm really made of. Sometimes it makes me grimace (when realizing things about myself that aren't so nice or attractive), but mostly it makes me deliriously happy on the inside.
5 - And finally, my favorite quote:

"The way I see it isn't necessarily the way you see it...Or the way it is or ought to be. What's more important is that we're both looking for it and a way to see it."
- Desi DeNardo
I think thinmarriage.org is a fantastic starting point for all couples that have a desire to build a stronger, happier, and more intimately passionate relationship with their partner. Realizing that you have to do all the work yourself took some getting used to, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks Z for your comments...We would love more feedback from workshop and class attendees!

Just for fun in newsletter

Hi Friends,
If you are taking part in the "Just for fun" promotion in our newsletter and are emailing to get a gift or entered in the contest...please send the email to:
michele@thinkmarriage.org

Thanks!
Happy New Year and keep blogging!
Michele

Déjà vu

Posted by Michele Olson

It’s that time of year again, when we begin to make promises to ourselves that if we were being honest, we can’t possibly achieve. I’ve got a “doable” thing you can actually get accomplished and it will broaden your thinking. Purchase a book called Marriage and Caste in America by Kay Hymowitz.

It’s an important read for everyone.

Stop!

Did you accomplish the goal of reading Kay’s book? What you just read was the beginning of my December 2007 blog…a year ago! It’s still a great resolution and easier than losing 10 pounds and exercising for 2 hours every day!

Here's a great goal for 2009...

Become or increase your role as a Marriage Champion!

If your Marriage Myth Buster Guide is dog eared from use, we can get you a new one! Perhaps you never requested one…that’s a great first step in being a Marriage Champion! It’s as easy as sending us an email with your name and mailing address.

Sign up for our e-newsletter. It will keep you up to date on opportunities and thinkmarriage.org news. Visit our store on our website. Talk about the importance of healthy marriages to the people you know. Start a buzz!

Commit to commenting on this blog. Mark it as one of your "favorites." Even a line or two may spur someone else to a thought which could cause a domino effect that changes the world! (It’s that time of year to think big!)

Write a little reminder in your daily planner…set a goal of encouraging healthy relationships and marriage at least once a month in a way that suits your personality.

Consider investing in thinkmarriage.org, visit the donate page of our website.

What you do really does matter.

Can we count on you in 2009?

Let us hear how you've been a Marriage Champion or how you plan on becoming one in 2009!

Have you heard about Dr. Joshua Coleman?

Posted by Michele Olson
*Article posted with permission from Dr. Coleman




Dr. Joshua Coleman is an internationally known expert in parenting, couples, families, and relationships. He has appeared on ABC's 20/20, Good Morning America, The Today Show (U.S. and Australia), the BBC, and numerous news programs for FOX, ABC, and NBC television.

So, he’s got the credentials.

He’s written many books on marriage and family including a couple with interesting titles:

The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework
and
The Marriage Makeover: Finding Happiness in Imperfect Harmony

On June 18, 2000 he wrote a Father’s Day article that was published in the San Francisco Chronicle titled; When a Family Man Thinks Twice

This must read article candidly points out something you don’t often hear talked about; the other side of divorce. The loneliness you can’t imagine when all you think about is getting away from this person you married. The pain, the heartaches, the despair that a divorce brings into your life. It’s not about divorce where someone saved themselves from an abusive situation. It’s the 70% that happen that are considered low-conflict when everyone thought they would be better off.


It’s the wondering if it really had to end up like this.

Do yourself a favor and read it. Send it on to the people you know. Here’s where to do that.

What do you think?
Please leave a comment!

You, Children and President Elect Obama’s Transition Team

Posted by Michele Olson

Do you think the kids “across the pond” are that different from kids here in America?

Probably not. Turns out that kids in England who participated in a poll would like a ban on divorce. If they ruled the world, that would be something they would get in place. It’s an interesting study on what kids are thinking.

Speaking of kids, and families and marriages…you have the opportunity to tell President Elect Obama and his transition team what you think about the social issues that his administration will be directly addressing. Click on this link and then under “Agenda” at the top of the screen, pick a social cause, and click “join the discussion.”

We need your help in letting the new administration know that marriage education is vitally important for our future. Explore our website at www.thinkmarriage.org for more information on the importance of marriage education and then let your voice be heard!

 

Shopping with a Purpose

posted by Michele Olson

Why holiday shop 'till you drop when you can shop with a purpose?

thinkmarriage.org recently added a Store section (It's a cool tab on the left side of the website!) This is an area we want to grow and make very "user friendly" but for right now, we just wanted to get going! 

You can purchase thinkmarriage.org mugs- perfect for coffee, tea or hot coco, details are in the store area of our website.

You can also go to www.zazzle.com/thinkmarriage and purchase a wide variety of items like t-shirts for women and men, plus baby items! How about a thinkmarriage trucker hat or tie?

We'll continually add design options as time goes by, so check back often. Not only are you getting a great product, you're also supporting a great movement...the healthy relationships, healthy marriage movement. Check out the merchandise and let us know if there are some items you would like to see. Get all your holiday shopping done online, and feel great that you've been a marriage champion a long the way!

Long Distance Relationships

posted by Michele Olson


Say the words “Long Distance Relationship” to someone and the reaction will usually be a wince or a grimace. They don’t have a great reputation. From the time a first-time college student really understands the concept of a “hometown honey” to Hollywood’s blatant display of marriages falling apart because couples are never together, LDR’s are definitely not encouraged by many people.

There are many couples in the “real world” who have no choice but to live with long distance relationships over a period of time. The military is a prime example of living apart until Uncle Sam says you’re free to go! The age of internet dating has also opened up the possibility that Mr. or Mrs. Wonderful is across the country. Job transfers, ailing family and even the worsening economy can cause to people who would rather be together to live apart.

Fortunately there is technology, web sites and books that can help you put your best foot forward when it comes to long-distance relationships.

The first thing you have to do in such a relationship is really talk about it. What are your expectations? You need to know that you are on the same page when it comes to what your version of a long distance relationship means.

If one person has the expectation that you will talk every day and the other person thinks you’ll be texting once a week…there are going to be issues.

Speaking of texting…thank goodness for technology! Imagine the day when it would take weeks to get a letter somewhere. (Think Little House on the Prairie or any historical Hallmark Hall of Fame movie!)

If you haven’t already, you need to acquaint yourself with cell phones, texting, Skype (and you even get to see each other!), instant messaging, email and the whole host of options out there which will allow you to stay connected because of technology.

While researching this article, I came across a Separation Inventory you can take that will help prepare you for this unique path. The corresponding website actually says that the founder, Dr. Gregory T. Guldner who wrote the book Long-Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide is unavailable until Feb. 2009 as he’s serving our country in Afghanistan. Now that’s walking the talk!

If a long –distance relationship is a part of your life now or in the future, rest assured that there are many resources for you to help you with more than “making the heart grow fonder.”

Books:
The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Apart by Tina B. Tessina

The Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide: Secrets and Strategies from Successful Couples Who Have Gone the Distance by Chris Bell and Kate Brauer-Bell

Long-Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide by Dr. Gregory T. Guldner

Sampling of websites:

www.longdistancecouples.com

www.longdistancerelationships.net

http://www.missyourmate.com/tips.html

Any tips on how you have handled a long distance relationship? Please blog!

Are Moods Catchy?

posted by Michele Olson

You had a great day at work. Every song on the radio is your favorite as you head home for the evening. You pop in the door, put down your things and say hello to your spouse. Your spouse is not in a good mood. Things didn’t go well at work and there was an overdue bill in the mail.

What happens to your mood? According to three professors Elaine Hatfield,
University of Hawaii; John T. Cacioppo, Ohio State University and Richard L. Rapson
University of Hawaii – your emotions are contagious. Technically the term is; emotional contagion. Their study concludes that people do catch the emotions of others.*

The worst thing is; this can happen unconsciously. It may be happening before you know it. This subject has been studied since the 1800’s and practically every decade since. Originally scientists were interested in the idea of “mimicry”. Imagine yourself listening to someone tell you about a very intense experience such as an accident or an operation….if you could look in a mirror at that moment, your face would be reflecting what you think they experienced. Catching someone’s emotions is very similar.

In another study led by John M. Ruiz, Ph.D., assistant professor of clinical psychology at Washington State University, heart bypass patients with neurotic and anxious spouses were much more likely to be depressed 18 months after surgery -- independent of their own personality. This can be problematic because depression is known to put recovering cardiac patients at higher risk of further heart attacks and death.

Kathryn Matthews, a writer for Oprah’s “O” Magazine recently posted an article called
Marital Mood Leak: Feelings May Be Contagious. She points out that if you see that your spouse is anxious or depressed, you literally feel the pain. She does suggest a few ways to prevent “spousal mood infection.”

Disengage
Make a plan ahead of time on how you will respond to negativity. That could mean leaving the situation by going for a walk. It may mean scheduling more alone time in your relationship or engaging in exercise alone or together. You may need to take the issue up with a counselor.

Find out if the problem is physical
Seasonal affective disorder is a real thing. Is your spouse cheerier when it’s sunny and nice? A special full-spectrum light may be what you need.

Play as a Team
The “O” article suggests couple therapy and of course we would like to suggest marriage education through an organization like thinkmarriage.org

Another great resource is a blog we did Aug. 22, 2007 in our blog archives, What Shamu Taught Me About Marriage.

The good news is that optimism is also catchy! Learning to communicate and resolve conflicts on issues like bad moods can go a long way in keeping your relationship strong.

Tell us your story…have you “caught a mood” from your spouse?

* E. Hatfield, J.T. Cacioppo, and R.L. Rapson, Primitive emotional contagion, Emotions and Social Behavior: Review of Personality and Social Psychology, 14, 151-177. M. S. Clark, Ed. (Sage, Newbury Park, 1992).

Kay Hymowitz and the Obama Era

Posted by Michele Olson

If you have followed this blog for any length of time, or look over at our recommended reading on the right hand column, you will know the name: Kay Hymowitz.

The Manhattan Institute for Policy Research has this overview of Kay’s work:


Kay S. Hymowitz is the William E. Simon fellow at the Manhattan Institute and a contributing editor of City Journal. She writes extensively on education and childhood in America.

Hymowitz is the author of the new book Marriage and Caste in America: Separate and Unequal Families in a Post-Marital Age, a compilation of some of her previously published City Journal essays. She examines the breakdown of marriage in the United States and how it threatens the nation's future. The book begins with the proposition that American marriage is designed to further "The Mission"—the shaping of children into self-reliant citizens and workers. Alarmingly, while the children of married parents tend to become married parents themselves eventually, the children of single parents tend not to, fueling a vicious cycle that, Ms. Hymowitz argues, has engendered "two Americas": one marriage-minded, one not; one economically successful, the other perpetually struggling. This is of particular concern to the African American community, in which married parents are increasingly rare. Her previous book, Liberation's Children: Parents and Kids in a Postmodern Age, was widely praised.

Kay also writes for major papers like the Washington Post. She just posted an article reiterating her research and viewpoints in light of President Elect Obama’s step into the White House.
She points out that at this time, Obama has the chance to revive what Lyndon Johnson called “the next and the more profound stage of the battle for civil rights.” She is speaking of the fact that since 1965, through economic recessions and booms, the black family has unraveled in ways that have little parallel in human culture.

Amid all the attention being paid to the economy and the social ills that lay at our doorstep, Kay is a voice reminding us that healthy marriages can be the foundation of the hope that we all so desperately need right now.

Let us hear your thoughts. Add to our blog!

Good Morning America Missed An Important Aspect

posted by Michele Olson


Good Morning America did a story this morning on the subject of marital check-ups…the topic of our November 18th blog. (Scroll back in the archives!) That’s where there is a link to the study.
While it’s great to get this concept on the table, we really wish they would have included marriage education as part of a check-up option, not just counseling. The program compared the idea to check-ups that you don’t neglect in the rest of your life…doctor, dentist...even your car.

A counselor mentions that often by the time people get to counseling, they already have pain or a “cavity” in the works. That’s an important distinction about healthy relationship education. While enhancing communication and conflict resolution skills is helpful when you are having some serious issues, it’s equally as important when things are just fine. The truth is we can all become better at these skills. Marriage is like anything else…easy to take for granted over time. Incorporating a healthy relationship class into your schedule is a good idea. Visit thinkmarriage.org and click on the classes tab to find out about classes in Wisconsin...or the Get Involved section to find out where classes might be around the country.

Feel free to let GMA know they missed an important aspect of the story by commenting on their story. (Hint, that's an excellent way to be a Marriage Champion!)

Marriage on the Radio Every Week Day

posted by Michele Olson



Mark Gungor has announced that as of yesterday his radio show, titled appropriately enough The Mark Gungor Radio Show* will now be broadcasting live every weekday from 10am - 11am Central Time via internet. He, along with co-host Debbie Chavez tackle the tough issues that come up in marriages today.
Here's the link to the live broadcast. The show airs every weekday at 10:00am Central Time. Just click on the "Listen Live" link to tune in. Mark will take your questions during the show by phone at 866-966-MARK (866-966-6275) or you can email your question to radio@laughyourway.com

Mark is the creator of Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage Seminars, and a friend of thinkmarriage.org

Why not listen with your spouse? This would be a great way to introduce new topics of discussion into your own relationship while learning about marriage and healthy relationships.

Call in with a question or comment and tell them that "thinkmarriage.org" sent you!


*Note: The Mark Gungor radio show may contain religious content.

Parenting, Kids and Still Having a Marriage

posted by Michele Olson'












If you’ve ever been married, juggled careers and had kids…you are busy and probably tired!

It’s that simple. Talk about not enough hours in the day!

There’s an article in the Redbook Magazine entitled:
“2 jobs, 2 kids – where does our marriage fit in?” that you will find interesting. It explores the lives of Meghan and Jeremy Wilker and their world of two fast paced careers, a toddler, a baby on the way and their marriage. The question becomes, how do they make time for themselves?

I’m sure if you are in a similar situation, you can relate.

In their circumstance, they realize that they are not making time for themselves. Even though there are no major issues right now, they are concerned that they will grow apart if they keep putting everything else ahead of their marriage.
The article explores their hot buttons and then some expert advice follows about what they can do about those issues.

One topic is the fact that they take each other for granted. They acknowledge that they get into a “comparison thing” about who is doing more work in their own estimation - who has more stress. When they first married and didn’t have children, this was not such an issue. There was simply more time. The article takes a realistic look at what this couple can do for their marriage.

You are anonymous on this blog, so tell us your story. How do you make time for your marriage in your busy life?

More Empty Beds

posted by Michele Olson

I had the opportunity recently to do something that I had never done before. Along with our Milwaukee County Program Director, I visited the State of Wisconsin, Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility. Let me put it in simpler terms; I went into prison to observe a thinkmarriage.org marriage education course being voluntarily taken by inmates.

Going into a prison and seeing the life there was eye opening. It’s a little like watching something happen that you know about, but you’ve never experienced. Like watching a hurricane or earthquake…something we just don’t see firsthand in Wisconsin. When you see it first hand, it takes on a whole new perspective and reality.

What struck me was the willingness of the inmate participants to share with the facilitator their thoughts on relationships. The tenants of the class being taught covered the healthy steps to a healthy relationship. The participants opened up about their upbringing and their current relationships.

It is becoming more and more apparent in this country that there are many people growing up without any exposure to what a healthy relationship or a marriage looks like. There are always cases of people who just make bad choices when they’ve been given every opportunity to act responsibly, but the number of people who truly never had any chance to “know better” is astronomical. They’re simply reflecting what they’ve seen modeled in life. With the idea that knowledge is power, there are a lot of powerless people walking around making poor decisions.

I was also struck by the compassion of the Deputy Warden, Social worker and staff who really had a desire to see these men succeed. They were very thankful for what thinkmarriage.org was providing…basic communication and conflict resolution skills.

It was an eye opening experience, one that I won’t forget. I’ll also remember the looks on the faces of the general population of the prison. Some of these men can be confined for up to a year in this specific facility. I wondered about each of their stories, what led them there, what they had seen and been exposed to as they went through their formative years. I thought about how their lives might have been different if they had seen healthy relationships and marriages modeled along the way, and if they had started taking classes about healthy relationships in their pre-teen years. I wondered if it would have meant less people incarcerated and more empty beds.

We know from social science research that most of society’s ills fall at the doorstep of the breakdown of the family. That’s why it’s so important that healthy relationship and marriage education be given the chance to become a part of every person’s knowledge base. It truly is a way to change the world.

It's Possible and Is It Time for a Checkup?

posted by Michele Olson

Two recent USA Today articles are worth checking into.

One is titled: Proof's in the brain scan: Romance can last It doesn't always fade over time and the other is called Marriage Checkup Aims to Prevent Problems…both written by USA reporter Sharon Jayson.

The “Proof” article talks about research pointing to the fact the honeymoon doesn't have to be over just because you've been together for years.

New brain scans of people who say they are still in love after decades of marriage are similar to scans of those who have just fallen in love, leading researchers to conclude that long-term relationships can be just as passionate and romantic as new love.

The study, presented Sunday at a meeting of the Society for Neuroscience in Washington, D.C., represents a dramatic shift in thinking. Other research "always suggested romantic love is over by 12 to 15 months. This suggests that may not have to be the case," says Richmond Thompson, associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Bowdoin College, who wasn't involved in the study. Read the full article here.

The other article points out that you go to the dentist twice a year and have an annual physical exam, why wouldn’t you protect the health of your union with a Marriage Check up? Sounds a lot like attending a thinkmarriage.org marriage education class at least once a year! Read the full article here.

The World’s Easiest Way to Faster Intimacy

posted by Michele Olson

“How was your day?”

Seems a simple enough question. According to psychologist Angela Hicks, PhD, of Westminster University it packs a wallop.

She studied 48 couples and found that those who discussed recent positive experiences with each other felt happier the next day, and also had increased feelings of intimacy and connection to their partners. It was also found important to discuss the low points. These types of discussions also made a couple feel closer.

It’s interesting to note that 30% of men say their days’ most positive event involved their wife.
27% of women say their day’s most positive event involved their husband.

So looking for the world’s easiest way to faster intimacy? Just ask a simple question.

You can read the complete study here.

Now it's your turn!

Tell us about your relationship. Do you and your spouse ask each other about "your day" every day?
Do you agree with the author’s findings?

A Look At Long Lasting Love in Korea

posted by Michele Olson

It seems that a long healthy marriage is like a smile, universal and important in every language and culture.

Korea states that with a staggering divorce rate of 47%, longstanding couples are considered a rarity in today’s Korean society.

This article entitled Two Become One on Journey of Marriage crosses any cultural borders in the advice to spend time communicating and a unique admonition to “love each other’s weaknesses.”

It’s interesting to think about the importance of healthy marriages to every culture, as the foundation for a strong society. Enjoy a look at another country's acknowledgement of the importance of longevity in marriage.

Can A Marriage Survive an Affair?

Posted by Michele Olson

I love television…the medium and all the funny, happy moments it can bring if you watch the right programs. One thing I don’t like is its inability to convey the depth of pain that comes from some real life situations. There is a danger in thinking that real life mirrors the ability to wrap things up in a tidy bow in 60 minutes. Television programs and the movies are filled with people casually having affairs, and making it look exciting, romantic and painless.

In real life affairs are devastating.

Always.

Someone along the way gets hurt. Something that was once one way is now changed in some shape or form.

But does that mean it’s RIP and recovery isn’t possible?

Not according to a resource like Beyond Affairs Network (BAN for short)

Ban’s mission statement should be a healing balm of hope for anyone reading this who is feeling the pain of an affair.

Beyond Affairs Network (BAN) Mission Statement

To provide an opportunity for people who are dealing with the devastating impact of a spouse’s affair to come together face-to-face, for strength, insight, and mutual support.

To provide a safe place to share the painful emotions that interfere with recovery and a place to gain perspective and understanding, aimed at thinking more clearly and acting more effectively, in order to proactively move forward, make more informed personal decisions and recover from this experience.

To reinforce people’s own efforts toward recovery, working in conjunction with and not in place of other support they are seeking such as therapy, counseling or marriage healing and strengthening seminars.

To help people reach a point where they are fully healed from the experience and no longer need support.

To become as commonly known about and available worldwide as other major support groups such as Al-Anon, so that no betrayed spouse needs to suffer in isolation.

BAN is one great resource and you can visit their site for more information.

Another resource is Dear Peggy and her Extramarital Affairs Resource Center.

For a great book on the subject read: Staying Together When An Affair Pulls You Apart by Stephan Judah, P.H.D.

The point is: there is help and hope for marriages that will help if your marriage is suffering from an affair. You are not alone. Many couples have survived affairs and gone on to have healthier marriages. In the end, your outcome is between you and your spouse, but rest assured that there can be help along the way.

Let us hear from you. (You are anonymous on this blog)

Has your marriage survived an affair?
Have you and your spouse ever talked about marital affairs?
Do you have an encouraging word to someone because you’ve “walked a mile in their shoes?”

Devoted to You

Posted by Michele Olson

November 4, 1978

As the main writer of this blog and the Communications Director for thinkmarriage.org, I can't help but share this special day with you, wimarriagechat.org readers. It's the 30th Anniversary of my marriage to my husband Ray.

It was a beautiful fall day in 1978, and we were so young and not sure of what the future held. It's amazing to look back 30 years later and think of all we've experienced together.

We're crazy about our family...our son Ben and his wife Sara, and our daughter Molly and her boyfriend Wim. We can't believe we're here, because we remember thinking how amazing it would be to be married five years! There have been so many good times, many hard times too...but through it all, I think of the song we sang to each other at our wedding; A James Taylor and Carly Simon song - Devoted to You.

"Through the years our love will grow, like a river it will flow. It can't die because I'm so, devoted to you."

We had a very "home made" wedding as we used to do in the 70's and my parents and family made the food for the reception of over 300 people. The main dish was spaghetti and we all wore matching red, white and blue bibs...little did we know what a historic day our 30th anniversary would be for our country. (Don't forget to vote!)

I just want to encourage anyone reading this to keep on going...respecting one another...and taking time to be together. It's really "sweet" when you are in it for the long haul and you have the idea deep in your heart through all the obstacles that life can throw at you that you will be there for each other. You will survive the economy, kids, extended families and life. Just remain committed to doing it together, hand in hand.

I look forward to 35, 40, 50 and more Lord willing...because marriage can be one of the best things you ever decide to do in your life.

As the poet Robert Browning said: Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.

No Matter Who Wins, Keep Voting for Marriage!

posted by Michele Olson

Tomorrow is a big day in our country. You would have to be living on another planet not to have received the message that it matters that you vote. Long after we know who our next President will be, there is something you need to keep “voting” for so to speak…and that’s marriage!

A new administration will be looking at all the programs and laws regarding families…so you need to stay on top of what’s happening. Make your voice heard when it comes to pro-family and pro-marriage issues. Investigate what’s happening in your community that supports marriage and family. Lend your time and talents to building up marriage and healthy relationships.

Take a marriage or healthy relationship workshop if you have one available in your area. Watch community calendars on newspaper, TV and radio for events you can attend. Attend Representative forums when they come to your area and learn their views on marriage and family.

Every four years we get all excited about issues and they come to the forefront. The real work is often in the “in-between” times so that when our country gets excited …our issue is a part of the conversation.

Healthy relationships and families are at the core of our country’s success. No matter who wins the election tomorrow…let’s keep “voting” for marriage!

Do In-Laws "Scare" You?

Posted by Michele Olson

Do you find the upcoming holidays a “frightening” thought because of in-law issues?

As we are about to finish up Halloween…it’s officially the Holiday season. (I actually saw all the Christmas decorations already up in our downtown area, but that’s another blog!) In-laws can be one more pressure on a couple when it should be a time of celebration and fun.

Here are some pro-active tips to help you keep the “happy” in holidays.

1) First and foremost is the fact that you are a couple. You are now your own family. That doesn’t mean you love your parents, or your spouse’s parents any less, but you do have to make your relationship the number one priority.
2) Decide ahead of time what works for you, and what doesn’t. Talk about the fact that there are areas of potential conflict, and you want this to be a joyous time. Make a plan of where you’re going and when.
3) Understand that your decision may upset someone. It probably will, but the sooner you make it clear in a loving way that you are setting up new traditions are have really talked about what will work best for you, the sooner people can move on with what has been decided.
4) Don’t wait to tell your plans, be the first to bring it up and let people know what’s happening. That way there’s no chance that it really had anything to do with you changing your mind after they proposed a plan.
5) Work together. Never answer on your spouse’s behalf or commit to something until you’ve talked to your spouse.
6) Set up a new tradition of your own and invite your in-laws to participate. If they aren’t available or choose not to participate, that should be OK with you too.
7) Consider a whole new way to celebrate by picking a totally neutral place to spend the holidays…turn it into a family vacation.
8) Have a signal worked out that lets the other know you are getting into dangerous territory, or they are being pushed into a corner by your boisterous Uncle Ned.
9) Stick to the spirit of the season which is peace and love and do your part to keep things calm and comfortable.

Let us hear from you! How have you made the adjustment to having in-laws and holiday celebrations? Any funny stories? Any tips?

The Silent Treatment- Revisited

Posted by Michele Olson

In 2006 we posted a blog on The Silent Treatment and it was viewed frequently. That tells us that people are experiencing this and have an interest level that reaches their day to day lives.

This is the best joke I’ve seen so far on the silent treatment:

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the cold shoulder.

The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence and lose, he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 a.m."

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 a.m. Wake up."

Face it. At some point in our life, maybe as a child, we’ve been on the “giving” or “receiving end” of the silent treatment. It’s kind of a no brainer. It comes very naturally to some people. That’s why we should be so wary of it. Basic instincts aren’t always the best way to nurture a relationship.

It’s all about “the power” when it comes to the silent treatment.

You, “Human Being A” have a need for love, respect, approval, understanding and care.

You have done something to tick off “Human Being B”, maybe only in their head, but the bottom line is; you have caused them some kind of discomfort. (Again, this may have no relation to what really happened, but in their mind, it did.) “Human Being B” decides they can get their point across most effectively by withholding every basic element of human interaction from you. No warm and fuzzies for you! The grocery clerk is getting better treatment.

In all fairness, this may be a blessing in disguise if “Human Being B” is about to explode and do some kind of damage, they may just be protecting you from what they are really capable of. Or, they may find the subject so painful that they just can’t talk about it for awhile and they need to sort through everything in their own head in their own way before they can stand to talk about it. “Human Being B” may be so disconnected that they won’t even put the effort in to talk about what you see as monumental and they see as trivial.

The most common reason for the silent treatment usually falls into the category of: Human being B has decided “You must be punished and this is the best legal way I can think of to do it and make my point.”

For human being B, at least in the beginning, this is a delicious, heady almost euphoric feeling.
“I’m King or Queen of the world!”
The problem is, as this goes on it can unravel entire kingdoms, and for what?

Ugly things. Pride. Control. Making yourself more at the expense of another human being.

So, what can you, “Human Being A” do when you are the middle of this unpleasant situation? (Very few people reading this will be giving the silent treatment, they are much more likely to be on the receiving end, if I’m wrong- tell me!)

Here are some tips:

1) When you are not in the middle of a “session” ask your loved one if they would be willing to attend a marriage education workshop with you. They are most likely resorting to this type of behavior because they probably don’t have a “better one” up their sleeve. If you would both take the opportunity to learn how to communicate and resolve conflicts when you feel you have been wronged, you lessen the chances of resorting to the silent treatment.

2) Quit making it so rewarding. First of all (and you really have to put on your maturity hat to pull this off) ask yourself if there is truth in what they are upset about. Try to understand what set off this silence even if the other half of your brain thinks they belong in the Jerks Hall of Fame. Let them know that if something is bothering them you are all ears and willing to hear what it is. During the silent treatment, your temptation will be to withhold acts of love and affection. Resist those temptations and continue to do things like a love note in the lunch box. Actions can speak louder than words.

3) If they won’t discuss or share a reason, ask if they are looking for a certain amount of time to be left alone. Make it known you had no intent to insult or offend them, and you’re willing to talk whenever they are ready. Determine if this is actually just a “cooling off” period, and not a silent treatment.


4) When you have done your best to understand any part you played in your current cold shoulder situation, and you have concluded you can’t do any more, then go about your life as normal. I didn’t say it was easy, but it is necessary. Don’t feel guilty that you can’t read minds. If this has become a way of life in your relationship, you may have to seek outside help to break the pattern.

5) The silent treatment when done repeatedly is destructive behavior that can be seen as emotional abuse, depending on the situation and severity. It’ s mean and it’s no way to live. Don’t buy into it and if your loved one will not go to marriage education classes or seek help, you should still seek help for yourself if this is causing you distress.


6) When you aren’t in the silent treatment, see if you can talk about what you are both feeling during that time. See if you can agree that being right or wrong is not the most important thing, but that loving each other is what’s important.


At the end of the day, effective communication is the key to ending the silent treatment. (Ironic isn’t it?)

Have you been the recipient of the silent treatment?
What have you done when receiving it?
Have you given the silent treatment?

Hey Main Street, How is Marriage Your Business?

posted by Michele Olson

You can’t turn on the TV today without hearing about Wall St. vs. Main St. The message is clear…we’re all on Main St. “They”, are Wall St. and they are the villains. We are Main St. and we are the victims.

The truth is probably closer to somewhere in the middle, since most of our retirement futures hinge on a healthy Wall St.

A healthy Wall St. is directly connected to a healthy business sector in our country.
Stick with me! (The knee bones connected to the ankle bone) A healthy business sector is directly connected to a healthy family.

There. Now we are getting somewhere.

If you ask the question, should marriage and divorce be the concern of business owners and executives whether they operate mainly on Main St. or Wall St.? The answer has to be “YES!”
Current research and thinking from the world of economics and social sciences has come to two major conclusions:

1) Happily married employees increase profitability
2) Unhappily married employees decrease profitability

Each of the 1.2 annual U.S. divorces cost society about $25,000 to $30,000 dollars. And we don’t need to look at couples as just married or divorced. Employees within companies are either in succeeding relationships and moving toward happy, satisfying relationships, or they are spiraling downward in an unhappy, hurtful relationship.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who is the more productive employee posed to be contributing at a high level.

That’s why it’s important in these economic times that employers consider marriage and healthy relationship education as a part of their plan to survive this economy. There are countless benefits for companies whose employees are in healthy relationships.

We’d be happy to provide your company with Cost of Divorce worksheets to show you just how much unhealthy relationships are costing your company and to make you aware of an important report called: Marriage and Family Wellness: Corporate America’s Business? put out by Life Innovations, Inc and the Marriage CoMission.

We’d also love to do a lunch and learn for you and your employees if you are in close enough proximity in the state of Wisconsin.

What do you observe in your work place when it comes to healthy relationships?

Let us hear from you.

We're a Long Way from the String and Tin Cans

posted by Michele Olson

Is the internet and cellphones dividing the American family?

That's the interesting question that was posed in a Washington Post article yesterday.

The answer may surprise you. Even though parents and children are rushing through their days in different directions, the American family appears to be as tight knit as the last generation according to a Pew Internet and American Life Project poll. In the poll, 60 percent of adults said the new technologies did not affect the closeness of their family while 25 percent said cellphones and online communication made their families closer. 11 percent said the technology had a negative effect.

Turns out it's easier to keep in touch and actually know what the other is doing on a day-to-day basis because of the internet and cell phones. It didn't cause the amount of "face time" to be cut down, but rather was an addition to the amount of time spent communicating.

Personally, I know the internet and cell phones, especially texting and emails, has allowed me to stay in close contact with my children who are grown and not in the same state...and one not even in the country! My husband and I are about to celebrate our 30th anniversary and instead of a trip to Hawaii or a diamond necklace...we opted for iphones. On the very first day we communicated more because of getting unlimited texting which we didn't have before. I find an instant connection with people for even a moment is a wonderful way to stay in tune.

What about you?

Does technology keep your family connected?

Let us know what you are thinking!