Tuesday, February 17, 2009

It's a No Brainer

posted by Michele Olson
I'm always fascinated by the progression we go through to get to a really good idea, even though at the time the "lesser idea" seemed like the best idea. We seem to have to do this to get to that. Why not hop right to "that?"
Before the personality styles who tend to operate in the factual and black and white tear their hair out...let me get to the point of today's blog!
We know an annual physical check-up prevents all kind of health problems. You find things before they get out of hand and are easily managed or cured. So it stands to reason that a yearly marriage check-up would save all kinds of bigger problems, before they get out of hand. Yet, if you talked to most couples entering into marriage, while they go to the dentist every six months and get a yearly physical...they aren't doing the same service for their marriage. Wouldn't it be great if that was just a "given"...an expectation of anyone getting married? Seems like such an easy idea...yet it's not happening.
James V. Cordova Ph.D. has written a book called The Marriage Check Up which advocates a regular marital check-up to make sure your relationship is on track. You've heard that before in this blog too. Since the 1960's there has been a lot of academic research on the topic. Now there's a $1 million grant from the National Institutes of Health to put the idea of the marital check up to the test. They began studying 189 couples in Feb. 2007. So far from what they know they are finding improvement in overall marriage satisfaction. They are actually looking for more couples in the study. You can read the full article here. His book comes out next month.
Attending a thinkmarriage.org workshop in Wisconsin or attending one of our online workshops, available worldwide, is also a great way to have a marital check up. Free online teleseminars about our online workshops are available Feb. 23rd - Feb. 26th. Click on the classes tab at thinkmarriage.org to register for the free teleseminar where you will learn the details of each workshop.
Marital check-ups. Such a no brainer. So...why aren't more people doing it?
Let us hear from you.


Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. said...

Excellent point! I am always saddened when a couple enters my office with a problem so entrenched that there is little likelihood that either will move enough to save the marriage.

I often think "why didn't you come in 3 years ago (or even 6 months ago), when we could have done something."

It would seem that we would do more preventative in our #1 relationship in life. Instead, we wait until the "tires are falling off" to do anything. Regular maintenance would do wonders!

Thanks for the post!

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
author of Save The Marriage

thinkmarriage.org said...

Thanks Lee, I'm sure you know first hand the old adage "An ounce of prevention"...hopefully with voices like ours out there, we can get the idea to become more commonplace!