Monday, February 22, 2010

Can Retro Ideas Change Your Relationship Today?

Posted by Michele Olson
A recent Web MD article poses an interesting question: should you take relationship advice from your peers, or is there something more to learn from someone more your parents or grandparents age?

Seems going retro when it comes to advice may not be a bad idea. Here’s a quick look at some of the retro tips mentioned in the article. Some ideas come from early 1900 manuals!

Tip number one talks about reinstating good old fashioned civility.

When you started out with your spouse you probably were very good at saying please, thank you and pardon me. That shouldn’t have changed. Being polite, especially to those you are with every day can go a long way in making life more enjoyable and helping it run more smoothly. We can get very lazy in this area, talking more kindly to the grocery store clerk than we do to our loved ones. It’s still nice to help someone on with a coat, open a door or extend a kindness.

Tip number two from the article is one that is near and dear to our hearts at thinkmarriage.org.
Write a love letter. In this day of texting and instant everything, taking the time to write a love letter or even an “I really like and appreciate you” letter can have a big impact on a relationship.

Tip three: It’s OK to sleep in separate beds or even different rooms. Snoring, sleep apnea, tossing and turning and seeking different temperatures can lead to a lack of sleep, which can lead to some very grumpy spouses. Separate sleeping arrangements does not mean couples can’t pursue snuggling and loving at any moment they choose. Couples may be more inclined to feel amorous when they aren’t tired or miffed at a cover hog!

Tip four: Don’t give up your interests and your same-sex friends.
It’s a recent trend for couples to want to do everything together including their hobbies. It’s also a more recent happening that society looks at couples who aren’t spending all their time together as showing something amiss in the relationship. It’s possible to have very different interests and still be really crazy about each other. It’s probably why there used to be more “Women’s Clubs” and men at the lodge.

Tip five: We used to take more time to look good. Casual Friday has given way to casual every day and sometimes spouses only see each other in sweats and t shirts for weeks on end.

It’s a good article and I’ve given you my take on their tips. Reflect and consider if some of these changes would be good for your healthy relationship. Thoughts? Full article here.

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